Iftar at “Big Momma’s Masjid”
Just got back to Northern Virginia early this morning after spending the last couple of days in Baton Rouge, LA on business. While I was there, I stopped through Masjid Abdul-Raqeeb, the masjid I mentioned earlier was named for the brother, known for the great amount of good that he used to do, that was shot by an insane convert in that very building.
I had known one of the brothers, Farooq Abdul-Aziz, the Imam of the Masjid, for some time now, and knew him to be one of the most generous human beings that I’d ever met in my life. Last year for example, in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, he and his wife single handedly provided meals for a number of Katrina refugees as part of a greater effort in the Baton Rouge community during that time.
Masjid Abdul-Raqeeb is a small “house masjid” that is always open, and mostly consists of Black Americans (along with a few Pakistanis). After breaking the fast and making the prayer, we waited for the iftar to be served. Before the food came, I must admit, that I was wondering if they were going to bring out some “Muslim food” (i.e., Pakistani or Arab food) which I would not have minded since I was ready to eat.
However, when they brought the food out, they brought out fried chicken, candied yams and red beans and rice! All of which was very good, Masha Allah. Just like Maw used to make
I hadn’t had an iftar like that, at the masjid in…well, ever! And I’ve been all over the country. This isn’t to say it doesn’t happen, but this was the first time I can remember having a dinner at the masjid with 100% American food.
I joked with Farooq that “THIS is what I call an iftar!”. He responded, “This is what’s happening here! Collared greens, cornbread, catfish…”
After that, I walked around the neighborhood (they are well liked and respected in the community) and came back to see all the kids playing, women talking and everyone generally having a good time. It was a totally pretentious-free environment.
One of Farooq’s adult sons came with his newborn daughter to show her off. He mentioned to me that several of his children are married to the children of other people in the community and pointed out some of his grandchildren.
THAT was it! That was why it felt like such a family environment. Like a family reunion. Like…Sunday dinner at Big Momma’s house. These children were not only “children of the community” outside playing, they were, in many cases, cousins. The adults at that masjid were not just “the brothers” and “the sisters”, but were in many cases, the uncles and aunts of those children. Those kids are not just “the children” but nieces and nephews. Farooq’s wife is not just “Farooq’s family” but she is basically “big momma” to many of those kids.
Farooq and the others in this masjid loved and respected each other so much throughout the years, and were so genuinely close, that their children married each other and it strengthed the bonds that much more. This is why the environment was so pretentious-free. That is why it was enjoyable, Masha Allah. I was treated as a family member, not just some brother who “has some rights over me”.
This is what is missing in the lives of many converts. That family environment. This is what all the other Muslim ethnicities have that we do not. We try to fool ourselves into thinking that it is not needed or even “not befitting”, but this is natural. I did not realize how much I missed it myself.
Hmmm…Come to think of it. Yes I did.
In light of the fact that I’ve become very cynical these past few years, it was good to see this.
Anyway, I was not asked to do this, but I wanted to mention that they are planning to build a new Masjid there in Baton Rouge. If you have any sadaqah that you’d like to give, please remember them:
Make checks payable to: “Masjid Abdul-Raqeeb” and send to
Masjid Abdul-Raqeeb
5241 Prescott Road
Baton Rouge, LA 70805
Filed under: Black American Muslims, Practical Solutions
As salaamu ‘alaykum,
Thanks for the nice Ramadan post, Tariq. By the way, I’ve found the type of atmosphere you’re describing at most W.D. masjids I’ve been to — right down to the food you’re talking about.
In my experience, it is usually an older crowd with very few teens and young adults, which is kinda scary for the future, although most of the older crowd are beautiful people and that ‘family’ atmosphere is definitely there in terms of warmth.
I also felt that type of environment at my MSA, which was a small warm community. I know some MSAs as they become very large (maShaAllaah) may lose a little of that.
Ramadan Mubarak!
Ma Sha Allah nice piece. Very uplifting exactly the kind of thing we need to be reminded of in Ramadan.
Jazakallah khayr for the info…
This is the type of environment that I grew up in and (unfortunately) left as I gravitated toward Islamic Movements and immigrant masjids. At the time, I wanted more knowledge, more this and that - and I felt that it was not available in the masjid that I grew up in. However, now as an Adult with a family, I realize now that they (the community of my youth) had all the substance, just not the formality - and the communites that I subsequently became involved in had all the style and form - but very little subtance. I miss it too.
I worked at a W.D. masajid. It was a lot more international than one would expect. It was there when I discovered collard greens with smoked turkey. It changed my life!(lol)
Also, I would say that despite the nationalities, smaller communities(smaller towns) tend to be a lot closer and family-like.
As-salaamu ‘alaikum,
I love African-American food, as long as it is halal!!! If you want someone to roll with you next Ramadan I’m in. I would love to experience an iftar like that, inshallah.
wasalaam.
I have had that expericence at many African-American masjids. You have a brother in St. Louis who is famous for baking cinammon rolls for iftar which they serve with fried fish. BTW, I went to an Arab Salafi masjid here the other day and they threw down Arab style; but no candy yams. Also, correct me if I am wrong but Masjid Abdul-Raqeeb is not a WD masjid correct?
No, Masjid Abdul-Raqeeb is not under IWDM’s leadership.
The point is not so much the food itself (definitely part of it) but the love in the environment. That is what Sunday dinner was really about at “Big Momma’s”: Love and caring…not the food. One could serve all the fried chicken, candied yams, etc they want, but if the environment is still pretentious, they won’t be able to duplicate it.
In fact, I had an aunt that could not cook at all, but it was still fun for everyone to go to her house. Everyone could laugh about the bad food.
Being there took me back a long way to that family reunion/sunday dinner atmosphere. I miss it.
Thanks for clarifying Umar. I didn’t mean by my comment to suggest that the masjid was a WD masjid, but I see how it could read that way. I just meant to say that a similar environment to the one Tariq describes has been present at most of the WD masjids that I have visited.
Now Tariq why you gotta go and get me all teary eyed?! I’m here in Saudi and I love it and never want to leave, but I miss my family and I do miss feeling like family even if I weren’t. The Saudi’s have gone out of their way to accept my family, but I’m not. I don’t feel like I’m in their tribe. I don’t feel in the way when I accept invitations, but it does not feel natural, as you put it either. I mean alhamduillah, it’s all good, but you gave me a flashback of one of the scarifices my family has made to be here.
I come from a WD background as well (did not really grow up in at as you know their masajid the youth really don’t practice any islam, but that’s my families background). Once I discovered the sunnah I ran from there. I mean ‘uncles’ that weren’t really my uncles were squeezing up all on a sister. They were old and really loved me…but the hugging and kissing was haram..lol
I feel more sad for my children than I do for myself. All of their grandparents are alive but they don’t know them and yet they don’t have friends to interact with on a regular basis. The kids here will be your friend one minute and hate you the next. Not like their parents who at least have to be pretentious. They see the love with the other kids and feel a bit left out. Masha’Allah.
Umm Adam:
I know what you mean. You know the sad part is that many children of converts (particularly Black American ones) that grow up in America also do not have other children to interact with on a regular basis. This is something that is almost completely dismissed by many brothers I speak with.
I suppose some dismiss this because many of them have a lot of children and those children play with each other. Hate to sound like I am whining, but this is so important, yet dismissed as unimportant.
Got a little misty eyed myself thinking back on our old family gatherings at my grandmother’s house when I was a kid. Can’t have much of a family environment when even the kids ask other kids if their dad is on the ‘minhaj’…
I have regular dreams of my grandparents house. They have both been dead for years, and I have been having these dreams every since I became an adult. I wake up feeling empty cuz the dreams seem so real. My grandparents had 4 children and 18 granchildren. I spent my weekends, vacations, and summers at their house. All of their children accepted Islam, so all of my family is supposedly muslim. My aunt had 11 kids (aunt and uncle are W.D…kids are pathetic), it was always big gatherings in our family. My kids could never relate to that. ALMOST makes me wanna go get 3 more wives for my dh so that we can have an instant tribe!
In the UK, Brixton Mosque and Islamic Cultural Centre (Masjid Ibn Taymiyyah) also serves food jujst as the brother Taariq mentioned, and it is a Salafi Masjid too!
[...] 4. Tariq Nelson talks about Iftar at Big Momma’s Masjid in Baton Rouge in an amusing heartfelt way. Do make prayer for Tariq because his son had a terrible accident (but is OK now, alhamdulillah). I wanted to add this post by him which discusses a place called “Novastan.” [...]