Education and Marriage
This was on Greg Mankiw’s blog
From today’s Wall Street Journal:
increased education leads to better marriages and stronger families. College graduates are less likely to divorce — and more specifically, families with highly educated mothers are half as likely to split. So says an upcoming article in Demographic Research by Steven P. Martin, a professor of sociology at the University of Maryland. Looking at marriages that began between 1990 and 1994, Mr. Martin found that, of marriages in which the wife had a college education (or more), only 16.5% dissolved in the first 10 years, compared with 38% in which the wife had only a high-school diploma.
Looking at it anecdotally, when I think about Muslim convert couples that I know in which both the husband and wife are college educated, not only do these couple tend to get along much better, have little to no ‘drama’, but the children of these couples are better prepared for school and even tend to be better behaved.
Obviously this is not a silver bullet that leads to perfect marriage, but this aspect certainly cannot be denied. Plus, I’ve met a lot of brothers that have been married multiple times (8x plus times) and I can’t think of one that was college educated.
A college educated convert will probably understand that marriage is more than just sex
Filed under: Black American Muslims, Children's Issues, Convert Issues
good point.
But i see a inconsistency when applying this to many of the immigrant muslims who are not divorced, nor will they most likely ever get divorced because of the family/societal pressures that ‘lock in’ their commitment to the marriage (maybe its why u know only converts since this reinforcing mechanism does not apply or exist in their community), even as they have little education. Immigrants with little education in continual marraige speaks contrary to the finding that they should have higher education when on the contrary some of them do not not even have the US equavilanent of a HS diploma.
your right that it isn’t a silver bullet. I like economic analysis of things (btw, I recommend Freakonomics as required reading for all), but calculating the success of marriage has alot to do with other factors like society, tradition, finances along with education, etc.
Show you know you right. Good observations, but I am afraid that the mUslim community, specifically the Muslims in America, don’t make a good pool. This research could very well be applied to Americans in general, but to Muslims is a different story. For one the priorities of the Muslim woman are different.
As far as the converts are concerned, I think that families where both partners are educated, the divource rate is low. However, I think it is very rare, at least amongst AA Muslims to find a family with said make up. The Indo-pak American Muslims are almost always ‘equally yolked’ (see the muslim matrimonials) and even if an educated brother marries a sister from back home, she is not going to be quick to divource. It is rare if an educated indo-pak woman marries an uneducated man. This problem is more common in the AA Muslim community. I see this with many families trying to make hijrah. The wife has to get the job and try to get the kids and hubby on her iqama. He gets to be a full time student and pain in the butt cuz he still expects her to bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never ever forget he’s Rabbul Bait!
[...] Tariq Nelson has a post about Education and Marriage, on his blog today. The literature on marital stability and quality has been quite comprehensive in nature and scope, but it has emphasized primarily white marriages. Little research attention has been given to African American marriages and even less to divorce within the African American community. The few studies to date that have examined divorce among African Americans rarely go beyond a mere description of differences between African Americans and White Americans. [...]
I agree with duniya stranger on this issue, many of the first generation immigrants from Arab countries and South Asia do not have college degree but still have a low rate of divource. But as you said it yourself this is not a silver bullet. I think it is the intersection of different attributes like education, cutural practices and family background that determine the outcomes of marriages. Understandably this would be different for different ethnic groups.
Interesting. I wonder if the impact of social-economic issues was factored in? I would think, in general, the marriages of such educated people might be a bit easier because some of the stresses of non educated people are not as pronounced, ie, economic and financial issues.
It makes things harder when you are struggling just to eat. Not that educated people dont have such issues, but I would think the numbers are lower.
I think one could go many directions on this issue. I think the college educated people might first realise the stakes of ending marriage and also have more to loose by ending multiple marriages.
If you are poor, have already been divorced already, have multiple children you dont support already, have no real assets subject to be split, why not get divorced again?
Besides, divorce, just like education, tends to be cyclical. Your parents did it, your brothers and sisters do it, you are more likely to do it.
I wonder if the statistics would be any different if the wife was college educated and the husband not. Does anyone know if a study has been done on that?
I am a few classes shy of getting a Master’s Degree and my soon-to-be-Ex hasn’t even earned a Bachelor’s Degree yet even though he’s been working on one on and off for the past 8 or 9 years. I have always felt like he was never fully supportive of me because either he was jealous or felt resentment. There are many factors that lead to the break up of our marriage but I’m sure the difference in our educational level has something to do with it as well.
Educated women shouldnt be marrying uneducated men.
Well considering there are more AA men in jail than in Institutes of Higher Learning, I would say that there will be a lot of single sisters.
Leila,
Hindsight is 20/20. If I had to do over again I would not marry a brother without a college degree unless he has mastered a skill or trade and it pays pretty well. And no I don’t consider selling incense, musk or women’s clothing out of the trunk of a car or selling soup and sandwiches after Salaatul Jumu’ah as a mastered trade.
My situation was a bit different. When my soon-to-be ex-husband and I met, I was young, about 21, and both of us were 2 years from graduating. By the time we ended up getting married, I had already graduated and he was still working on his degree but because he worked full-time and couldn’t devote as much time to school, I didn’t think too much of it. However, after we got married the burden of his family (which means having to take care of me and spend time with me) was too great and he started slacking more and more and I guess he lost interest. To this very day, I believe he is still 2 years from graduating. Education is very important to me which is why I finished what I started and will continue until I’m satisfied.
Umm Adam,
Yes, reality is starting to set in and it’s depressing. I was chatting with a very dear friend of mine recently and I mentioned that I don’t even want to think about remarrying until I complete my Masters degree, but I’m fearful that if I’m able to hold off that long that I will lose interest in getting remarried. Not only are the pickings slim but all the good brothers have already been snatched up…
It’s quite unfortunate that we’ve allowed our lives to be come quite complicated and downright abnormal. I am a divorcee and understand the issues being discussed. At the same time I am a Muslim woman of African descent and know first hand that Al-Islam promotes education and learning (not merely in an institution or university)….I guess Islam is encourages life-long learning.
When we look at our way of life (if we actually know what this is-and are striving to follow/adhere to it…it makes most things less complicated (at least this is that way that I see it)…So, when two African-American Muslims marry, it really ought not matter whether or not….(I know it does) but ought not matter whether or not the couple is both college educated…sure it helps to have formal “training” it makes you either a generalist or an expert in your area of study….this is helpful in many ways for the individual/couple and society…despite this, it don’t (yeah–ebonics) take rocket science to make marriage and family life a success…..! What it takes is Commitment, Communication and Compromise (the 3 C’s)….I think compromise is where most marriages fall short…and communication and commitment (at least for me it was here that we didn’t have our priorities in order).
This study provides some good information….educated people ought to have greater success (less stress due to better finances really does make a difference)….also educated people ought to be able to understand, value and express the 3C’s well (commitment, communication and compromise). As was pointed out, this study was of predominately Caucasian marriages. We already are well aware (prior to this great research) that Caucasian men and women get higher paying jobs, are offered better loans and opportunities (not all-there are no absolutes-just many of them) than African-American men/woman….Finances make a real difference in most of our lives.
Back to the Muslim marriage issues, I really am not sure if it’s lack of formal EDUCATION that keeps us down, seems lack it’s more of a LACK of UNDERSTANDING ISLAM, SELF AND MARRIAGE AND FAMILY…….maybe we’d be better of teaching or better yet RE-TEACHING African American Muslim men the true essence of being men, maintained and protectors…looks like we’ve confused submission to omission..too many got it mixed up…..insha Allah, we can fix this…we must…our future depends on it….
Thanks for reading my perspective….
peace and blessings
Sister Hanan
salam i am an educated 24 year old muslim women, i have made the biggest mistake of my life, last july i got married to my first cousin who is uneducated, we are 2 totally different people, i am already seperated from him, i did not do my research on him before i got married, my parent did put a lot of pressure on me, things have now got out of control, the families have more or less split up, he did not want to marry me either but listened to his parents, he now wants to divorce me but his family wont let him, i need help and advice.
in need of your prayers
uzma