Excommunication and righteous indignation
This post by Baybers brought to mind some of the Muslims that I have met that have felt “ex-communicated” and left feeling hopeless after getting caught making a mistake or commiting some sin. That is because the goal became the humiliation of that individual instead of helping that person correct their mistake.
The Denial and Pretentiousness Handbook, in this situation, calls for the following:
- Upon finding out that a person has a problem or made some mistake, be sure to relentlessly remind them of how wrong they were - even though they probably already know and feel bad about it. Act like they thought it was halal.
- When discussing this person with others, show plenty of righteous indignation (Be very sure to mention that, of course, you would NEVER do such a thing!)
- Report that person to the Imam or another person of influence with hopes a lecture will be given against that person and a call for a boycott given
- After the person is throughly discredited and shunned, make up a creative nickname for them
- Talk about that person on a few internet boards and email lists. (Call this person a ‘calamity upon the ummah’ if you can)
- Shake and repeat as necessary
Instead of going straight for the sledgehammer (chainsaw?) try to help the person solve his/her problem first. (Nah! This person is irreconcilably evil and must be called names and blasted)
Do we forget that the real goal is to solve problems, not just humiliate a person for its sake. If, in a rare case, humilation will help a person solve a person’s problem then it can be used, but not in each and every case. Sadly, there are a lot of “excommunicated” people on the streets right now left feeling that they have no hope because of this way of doing things. They want to correct themselves and come back, but can not.
And if that doesn’t convince you, then remember that a day may come where you need a little understanding and help to solve a problem instead of righteous indignation
Filed under: The Culture of Denial and Pretense
You forgot to add one to the handbook:
-Upon discovery of said brothers sin, say very loudly: ASTAGHFIRULLAH !
Ibn Ajibah:
Yea, I forgot about that one
Also don’t forget that it becomes permissible to slander this person
I GUESS THIS IS BETWEEN CONVERTS/REVERTS OR JUST MAYBE HUMAN NATURE.
Leila,
what do you mean by that statement. I am really curious where you live because you seem to have a wonderful Muslim community since you always seem to think we converts ( which is the generic term for any western born Muslim no matter if they were born Muslim) are complaining to much.
As salaamu alaikum Br. Tariq,
You have spoken about this before and good thing to mention this problem again. However, I feel that the manner Muslims have begun to deal with these issues reflects the larger systematic approach we in the United States treat wrong/criminal behavior.
There is so much emphasis placed on Punishment in our system of “Justice” in the US that we do not even consider if there is a way to rehabilitate the offenders. In my opinion, this ‘ex-communicate them’ approach, is the same as the ‘tough on crime’ approach our society has taken: Punish rather than rehabilitiate.
I feel that the larger US society we live in has affected us Muslims since we have adopted the same ‘tough’ approaches to things we could easily resolve with supporting Brothers and Sisters.
Like the US govt that finds it easier to lock people up then help them deal with their issues, its easier for us Muslims to write other brothers and sister off and stigmatize them rather than take a proactive approach in helping them overcome their shortcommings.
or as in my case, be ex-communicated, because you are a sympathizer (or would not backbite and slander) those whom they deem deserving of ex-communication.
I tend to agree with Dunia’s stranger if we are talking about what is sinful. one the other hand, this tendency to ex-communicate is found all over the world among a section of our more methodologically challenged brethren who want us to think that what they do is the actual practice of the salaf. The ex-communication in the name of the sunnah is all over the world with this group. As for sinful behavior, there might or might not be that kind of reaction. This is at least what I have observed. Allah knows best.
It’s my experience that the more loudmouthed, nitpicking, and arrogant a brother is, the more likely they themselves are sinning away from the eyes of the masjid. Half the really self-righteous lectures I’ve gotten were from brothers who were drinking, going to strip clubs, or even straight up commiting ziina. In at least one case, a Kuwaiti I knew would talk about sisters who didn’t cover properly and how filthy pork is while being a drunk wife-beater who actually tried to have sex with his wife’s daughter once.
hmm guess I’ll have to rethink that whole “Do you know who this brother is” campaign another sister and I had thought up….
See, a teller at the sister’s bank wanted to know when ‘this month of yours’ would be up because she was tired of not going to the club, not eating during the day and not you know what during the day because it was Ramadan. Surprised my friend asked her what the heck she was talking about and the woman replied, “My boyfriend goes to your church, you know on the corner of such and such.” Ahhh you mean the mosque? Yep, that’s it.
We kind of laughed about it but then thought we’d go snap pics of the brothers as they were being let outta the club and post it at the masjid with the title..’HAVE YOU SEEN THIS BROTHER.”
But since I don’t want to get all self righteous..we’ll just add them to the book of strangers not to marry…touching on your other recent topic….
sheesh…
[...] is made to feel so humiliated that they fall into despair - especially when they are basically “excommunicated”. Others will feel that they just can not measure up to these holy [...]