Whites adopting black children
From The Washington Post:
Whenever I see a white couple with an Asian or Hispanic child, I can’t help wondering whether adoption — like the personal ads — is one of the last areas of American life where naked expressions of racial preference are acceptable.
I know that sentiment seems ungenerous. Most of the children I see would have grown up in dire circumstances if they hadn’t been adopted, and many will find me mean-spirited for gainsaying any child a chance at a happy and successful life.
All the same, I can’t understand why so many white American couples go overseas to adopt, ignoring the plight of black children in the United States, such as the hundreds in the District of Columbia, Maryland and Virginia awaiting adoption.
One person at a state agency I talked to said one word — “Madonna” — when I asked why more people don’t adopt black children in the United States.
The well-publicized examples of Madonna and Angelina Jolie to the contrary, however, fewer children are adopted from African countries than, say, from China or Russia. Of the 27,000 children Americans adopted from overseas in fiscal 2005, only 441 came from Ethiopia, the African country with the largest number of international adoptions. Nearly 8,000 came from Russia and more than 4,500 from China, according to the National Council for Adoption
Part of the problem is that blacks are seen as different from everyone else. It just is not as strange to see Latin or Asian children being raised by whites as it is black children. Ever thought about why that is?
So whites decide, with the world being the way it is, it is better to adopt a non-black child, as that child will have an easier time adjusting and eventually re-assimilating than a black child who may even reject them at some point. Plus, Asians and Latinos are much more accepted in general society than blacks, therefore once the children grow up and marry a white person and produce children, the family is “white” again. This is not the case with blacks.
I am not saying that this is a good or bad thing, but just presenting the fact of the matter.
Then, of course, there is the resistance many black Americans have toward transracial adoption when it comes to black children.
James Collier had some interesting thoughts on this:
White parents adopting Black children face a Catch-22 challenge in that they will be encouraged to place their child in the various role-modeling company of Blacks whose rhetoric will make that child feel like they must chose between the parents and authentic blackness.When a White person adopts a Black child they should consider all the reasons that child might reject them, and what aid and comfort that child will receive if and when they ever take such a course. The farther an adopted child is away from their location of ethnic of origin (LEO), the more defensible and lasting the bond they will likely develop with their new family. It really is that simple. [Entire Post...]
Would an Asian or Latin child raised by whites be made to feel like they have to prove their “Asianess” or “Latiness” the same way a black child would be pressured by other blacks to “be down”?
Ever thought about why everyone else is referred to as a ”man”, but a black is a “black man”? Will there ever be a normalization of blacks in America? I doubt it.
Filed under: Children's Issues, Race
I dont feel comfortable with whites adopting black children from africa. African people regardless of religion have strong culture and tradition, that child will grow up being the black sheep in the family and losing all connection with his roots and family. To me rich people like madonna are selfish, why take a child away from his father just because you have the money that he doesnt to raise that child. I am sure she can afford to sponsor that child and the whole orphanage and pay for his education as well. But obviously white people dont have a culture and cannot see things from an african person’s perspective even though their intention is good. Having a good intention is simply aint enough when adopting from another country.
i sponsor a child in africa and intend to do it for the rest of my life, the charity has sent me some pictures of him in his school uniform, it heart warming walahi.
Normalization of blacks in America will occur when african americans change their culture. For the better i hope.
Leila, why is African culture so much more important to preserve than other cultures? Is African culture stronger than other cultures and more important to preserve?
You contracdict yourself when you say that they need to change their culture. How will that happen without outside intervention?
Ed. because, as she says: “But obviously white people dont have a culture”.
White people don’t have a culture? Uh, whatever. As if there is only ONE African culture. First of all if the choice is not adopting a black child who will grow up in an orphanage in Africa - alone and hungry and neglected and adopting one, bringing it to a life that will make sure the child is taken care of - the choice is clear. No one should argue otherwise. Given all things being equal and knowing you will adopt outside your race, as a white person, what race should you choose? I can understand the high number of Russian adoptions since Russian kids look pretty much like the normal White American. As for the Asian v. Latin v. Black, I would have to say that if I were to adopt, I’d hesitate to adopt a black child simply because I would not want black people in this country to see me out with my child and think that its wrong that I am raising a black child because they think the only suitable parents for black children are black adults. And to deny that is the case is to deny reality. It clearly boils down to the tenuous relationships black and white Americans have had with one another in this country. In the end, I’d adopt based on ease of adoption and financial issues that would allow me to do so and if people thought that child was better off living in poverty in Africa with no outlook on life than with me who will take care of it, then they could kiss my ass. Personally my hesitation to adopt a black child would be far more based on society than any personal feelings I have about black people or Asians or Latins. I would worry for that child and how it will be treated. The day someone called my child an oreo or some other derogatory remark that you hear about black people who “act” white, it would enrage me.
What Carrie says is true. Blacks in this country have segregated themselves and made it taboo to be friends with whites and for whites to adopt black children. The problems would come mostly from blacks. This is sad because studies have shown that black children benefit from transracial adoption.
Check this out
http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/story?id=547647&page=1
How about Asians, Latinos and Arabs in the USA? Can’t they adopt black kids in America? Why are the whites the only ones considered to be “racist?” I would say that when it comes to adoption, whites are absolutely the least racist of all ethnic groups. Look at your friends and neighbors who have adopted. How many blacks would adopt a non-black child?
And as reflected in Leila’s comments, blacks see putting blacks kids with white adoptive parents as some kind of “cultural genocide”. Therefore the adoption agencies are forced to look for black adoptees and with blacks are less likely to adopt any child of any race, these black orphans suffer
Dennis is right. Whites have the highest transracial adoption rates. However, the truth is that whites would rather have the smaller, “model minority”, high IQ Asian wiz-kid over the low IQ black child next door that may grow up to be some brute they will continuously have to bail out of jail
All the racists comments aside (Tim Peterson: you are an idiot, crime rates have a lot to do with family structure so if they have a solid family these points are moot) Black Americans are apart of the problem when they chastise whites for adopting black children. You cant have it both ways.
Black Americans do adopt but they usually take care of their own family, when you have people in your own family that are in dire need its harder to go across the world to adopt another child.
And lastly whites in America are in general the wealthiest so of course they would be more likely to adopt. I dont know why there has to be such a big deal about it. God bless anyone who is helping another human being to have a better life.
This is a good question, but has a fairly obvious answer. It stems from an attraction to the exotic more than racist impulses. We are talking about affluent entertainers and figureheads who have all of the luxuries of life. Simlarly the aristocrats of the 18th, 19th and early 20th centuries would travel in search of the exotic, collecting artifacts and properties (at times whole countries) as trophies of accomplishment. In this case today, these are not necessarily trophies of accomplishment but trophies of compassion, if such a thing is possible. I can’t say that I agree entirely with Tariq’s position when he states,
Its just not percise enough… its a grave generalization that excludes possibilites beyond superficial psychological hankerings and aversion to African-Americans. I had a discussion today with an African-American woman about the “black-struggle”. I suggested that globally, sympathy for blacks and their stuggle has suffered because they are no longer physically oppressed. They have escaped from physical/violent persecution and although they are enduring a psychological oppression as a group, its importance cannot be elevated above those groups who are physically oppressed in other parts of the world.
In other words someone would feel guilty, because the chances for success in other parts of the world are much less due to national violence, corruption and impoverishment. An orphan here in the US statistically has a much greater chance of success than a young Somali orphan for example. And if you only have one shot, you gotta take the shot that will make the most impact.
I believe that is the rationale (not withstanding Collier’s notes).
Don’t get me wrong, Leila loves ignorance like fat kids love cake, but she has one (and only one) good point. Rich people shouldn’t feel entitled to take poor peoples’ kids away. The kid Madonna adopted was not an orphan, he was just poor.
Tim, are you being ironic or did you mean that racist drivel?
Um Abdullah, why are the crime rates so high? Who is making them commit crime? Who’s fault is that? Similarly I could say, if parents didn’t die, there would be no need for adoption. I do agree with you that blacks can’t have it both ways.
DA, you don’t think what I said drives white adopting couples at all in who they chose to adopt? I’m not necessarily agreeing with the rationale, but it is that thought that partly drives these holier than thou types that want to go and save some child of color, but pass over the black kids across town because they fear he may grow up to be some brute. So they chose an Asian who they feel will become a wiz-kid and they can look good in the process
Interesting comments. I wondered about the article when it said “authentic blackness”. What is this and who decides it? Does that mean if black people do somethings different than other blacks they might be less authentic?
Doesnt that pidgeon hole an entire people?
Again, I think this conclusion, which is similar to Bro. Tariq’s conclusion is a little shy of perspective. To view this phenomenon of adoption by affluent entertainers and others from such an exclusive perspective reflects the “pigeon hole” which is “black culture”, and very self absorbed by certain standards.
I would like to move on to a side topic mentioned by Abu Sinan. He points out what I feel is a major problem in the black community when he asks,
I think its not necessarily what other blacks do, but what blacks identify as “blackness”. Some blacks “do” the black thing when around other blacks, but are not limited to this identification, for our purposes I will call them poly-social blacks (PSB). On the other hand, there are those that are limited to identifying with this idea of “blackness”, whether by education or self motivated interests and we will call them omni-social blacks (OSB). Therefore, the majority creates an “authenticity” of blackness which is verifiable by certain norms, these norms obviously fall towards the majority within the community the OSB. While there is nothing wrong with this there is a negative spin on what is identified in “authentic blackness”, which range from improper language skills to lascivious dress.
Absolutely! However, the problem lies in the PSB group and their acceptance of OSB ideology as the standard for blacks. In my opinion, it will take scholars of the PSB group to create a unified and tolerable movement of reform, a movement to eliminate the acceptance of negative behaviors as tolerable or desirable items within the culture.
When discussing these issues in my own environment (New York City) I often ask, with all the monies made by black entertainers, athletes and businessmen why are there so few initiatives attempting to enhance education. There should be a several national brands of extra-educational opportunites which emphasize reform within poor black communities. But in New York City, there are few privately funded organizations like this. Furthermore, most initiatives of education in poor black neighborhoods are completely local. There is nothing to my knowledge of a national push besides those attached to Federal spending and its tributaries.
This is a shame… with all of the criticisms that they endure this is one lesson that blacks could learn from the Taliban (though I do not endorse the Taliban in any way).
My husband and I are planning to adopt a child from Ethiopia. I understand the concern people have with adopting from overseas rather than from the U.S. I am active in many children’s adocacy organizations, locally. There is a need for adoptive parents in the U.S., particularly for children from the foster care system.
However, I have been to African orpanages. The difference between the U.S. and other countries around the world is that children in the United States have, at least, Congress. The U.S. is fortunate enough to have a vast amount of resources to offer children here. Unfortunately, Congress has not given these children nearly enough. Our family values Republicans and liberal Democrats in Congress have decided that it is more important to give oil companies tax breaks than to provide for their children (the court takes jurisdiction when a child goes into foster care - so, in a very real sense they are our children).
Every citizen in this country can help the kids here. Vote for those who will act to care for the children of this country. Elect politicians who have their priorities straight…and if you feel so strongly, adopt from foster care.
That said a chid is a child. People who adopt from other countries are giving a child a chance who may otherwise not have one. As far as the racial issue is concerned, it may add some complexity. But, by husband and I are interracial and it is not nearly as difficult as some seem to think - it’s only an issue if you allow it to be an issue. Respecting and learning about the another culture, is enriching, everyone should be so lucky to have that kind of complexity in their life.
Hakim,
I have seen that in action. A black lady I know, she has Bachelors in an Engineering field, Masters in a related field. When she talks to me she is VERY business like, very friendly, and very proper in her grammer and language.
However, I once overheard her talking to a group of other black women whom I knew were not nearly as educated and came from Southeast DC. Her language had deteriorated big time, with her using “She axed me” and the “I be saying” type things.
I feel bad for her, it almost seems like she thought she had to put on a front for both me, and probably for the other black ladies. Seems like she was trying to do what she thought would be expected by either of us.
Me? I prize people who are genuine. Speak to me, act like you act with anyone, dont taylor your behavior to fit different groups. I guess what is sad is that there is pressure from all sides to fit into a certain image to be accepted.
well I disgree a bit on that Abu Sinan. All though I do think the whole talking black thing is holding alot of AA’s back, I mean I got teased all my childhood as talking white even by my relatives. And now some of my family find it odd that my kids speak correctly they say they are being really proper. That being said when you are with your friends and being comfortable you can talk in more slang than with someone you are just an associate with.
Hmmmm, whats my point. Well its wrong to think that being black means having bad grammer and not speaking correct english but at the same time all groups of people have those that they are more casual with and use slang, whether they are white southerners, northeast italians, carribean immigrants etc, I’ve seen all those groups have two different ways of talking depending on who they are with. The problem with AA’s is that so many don’t talk the correct english at all and dont see anything wrong with it.
Sister, I think your point supports my argument more than refute.
you seem bitter…I dunno why you always make this exception between blacks on one side and rest of the world on the other. Is this even islamic attitude? (btw im not implying anything, just a rhetorical question).
I think this is a complicated issue but in general I am not in favor of whites adopting black children in Amerca because the parent may very well not know how to prepare a black child for life in America…and there could be exceptions.
This is a very important topic for me… I am an Asian prospective adoptive mother. Myhusband and I have decided to adopt an older child from the foster care system. Since we live in a majority black area our child would probably be black, although we have not specified race. There are no Asian children whatsoever in the foster care system in our region.
Tariq, I would like to complicate your point. You say “So whites decide, with the world being the way it is, it is better to adopt a non-black child, as that child will have an easier time adjusting and eventually re-assimilating than a black child who may even reject them at some point. Plus, Asians and Latinos are much more accepted in general society than blacks, therefore once the children grow up and marry a white person and produce children, the family is “white” again. This is not the case with blacks.”
All these statements are false and misleading. First of all, I’m a hapa (multiracial Asian), half white and half Asian. My facial features happen to be very Asian and I have never, ever been mistaken for white and have faced a lot of racism growing up in a place where there were no other Asians. I have met a few other hapas who could pass for white but the majority cannot. You also made an overgeneralization about Latinos, who can range from near-100% West African origin to near-100% Spanish to near 100% indigenous. There are even Chinese Cubans and Chinese Mexicans and Arab Mexicans (Salma Hayek).
It also depends heavily which “general society” you are talking about. I live in Atlanta, which is often referred to as a “black mecca”. Many black people from the north are moving here are retiring in Atlanta. I am not denying in any way shape or form that African-Americans face institutionalized racism in our city; I am just painting a broader picture. In our city, the people at the bottom of the racial hierarchy are actually Mexican and Central American immigrants. Georgia has the fastest growing Latino population in the country. Unlike California, New Mexico, New York or Florida, the Mexican immigrant community is still very new and lacks a lot of support. I would refer you to this article from the Southern Poverty Law Center to see details about racism against Latinos in the South: http://www.splcenter.org/legal/news/article.jsp?site_area=1&aid=221
When it comes to adoption, I have done a lot of research and believe 1) when possible, and all other family factors being equal, children should be matched to parents who are of the same race and/or cultural background 2) when this is not possible, transracial adoption is a good alternative, as long as parents are prepared to understand the cultural needs of their child and the development of racial self-image. After reading many articles by transracial adoptees (primarily Asian and black) I believe many white parents make mistakes when adopting transracially, but some of them also have done their best. The main mistake is to ignore race and pretend that it will go away. The effects on ANY transracial adoptee (black, Latino or Asian) of this attitude can be very traumatic.
I think the topic of white parents adopting black children is good to discuss, but it’s also important to remember there are a lot of black parents out there adopting black children, especially from the foster care system. Whenever this debate comes up before the general public, there is always someone yelling “well where are the black parents, why aren’t they stepping up.” They do, all the time, and should be recognized more.
Lastly, black people do rarely adopt outside their race. Why? Because they face a lot of peer pressure not to. Everyone knows that black children are disproportionately represented in the foster care system, and that the majority of adoptive parents are looking for white children. Black parents who adopted transracially would face a lot of tough questions from their own community.
Atlasie:
Thanks for your comments you wrote:
I certainly did not intend to say that Asians or Latinos face no racism, but simply that they are more accepted by whites as mates (and in the case of this story, as adoptees) than blacks are. To put my thoughts into context, I am of the belief that - as mentioned in this book - we are heading for a black/non-black dicotomy. You’ll see this expressed in the rest of my posts, and I was posting this as further evidence of it.
I feel that we are moving toward a society where people will look at race through the prism of who is and is not black instead of the current way of looking at things through the prism of who is and is not white.
I am aware that there are several subgroups within the Latinos. Sometimes you can see that they make the distinction with black Latinos. For example, Christina Milian is an “Afro-Cuban” and Geraldo is simply Cuban. Point is that Latinos are still socially “brown”, but can easily move into “whiteness” easier than blacks can. I’m not trying to have an “oppression olympics” here, but just stating why I feel blacks are less desirable than Asians and Latinos by whites.
Again, not denying there is racism against Asians and Latinos. Much of the violence against Latinos is by blacks. As for Atlanta, then it is an exception. Many of the higher educated and upwardly mobile blacks move there, and one can get a skewed sense of what the black community is like in the rest of the country. There is only one Atlanta. Prince George’s County here the DC area is about the closest thing you will find to it, and it is a suburb. So general society is just that. There are exceptions, but there are some pretty good general rules we have to live by. Generally speaking.
I agree that it would look strange for a black person to pass over black children in the neighborhood to adopt a non-black child.
I agree with more of your points now. I also agree that many white parents decide to adopt from places like China because they believe they will have less issues dealing with racial identity. I also strongly believe they are totally mistaken and the issue of racial identity is still going to be there! Nevertheless, I know the idea is prevalent.
“I feel that we are moving toward a society where people will look at race through the prism of who is and is not black instead of the current way of looking at things through the prism of who is and is not white.”
I can see the strength of that argument, but how does it deal with the growing anti-immigrant sentiment? It sounds too bipolar. On one level I sort of agree with the theory, based on my personal experience. I’ve never had white privilege but I have had “non-black privilege” especially when it comes to things like job opportunities. Most people have two switches in their head, one that switches on if the person isn’t black, and another that switches on if the person is white. I can almost see sometimes when the first switch turns on but the second switch doesn’t.
On the other hand, African-Americans are largely immune from the growing anti-immigrant sentiment (although I believe it certainly affects black immigrants who are not strictly speaking African-American). It seems more like there are five racial super-classes: black (African-American), Native American, white, bad immigrants and good immigrants. Right now East Asians and some Indians are “good” immigrants associated with high-tech jobs and middle-class values. Everyone else, especially Latinos and Muslims, is a “bad immigrant”. It’s easy to switch from being a good immigrant to bad immigrant, all it takes is a war or a propaganda campaign. On the other hand, I don’t see anyone moving from the immigrant categories into white. Some mixed race individuals being classed as white is one thing, but there are Japanese-Americans in Hawaii whose families have been there for hundreds of years, Latinos in the Southeast who have been there for much longer… I don’t see them moving out of “automatic foreigner” status into “white” anytime soon.
please read lemn sisay history. a chlid adopted from ethiopia
He was abused by his white adpoted family but all this things did not stop him to be a well know poet in the whloe brtain and no doubt black people have better IQ than white people.
come and see the great egypt peramid, come and see the 8th wonder of the wold in ethiopia - Lalibela, and so on……………….. all are made by black people.
Read more about lemn sissay
http://www.lemnsissay.com
Eye-opening discussion. I was about to meet a set of brothers to potentially adopt. I realize now, I don’t know squat and will cancel/postone the meeting and get some answers to some important questions.
Wow! Lots of stimulating conversation. This last post from Ricky concerns me, however. That he is about to change his mind from adopting 2 children because it is questionable whether he is “fit” or not.
Now…there are 2 siblings that perhaps will not be adopted. I don’t know the dynamics of Ricky’s situation (if he’s Caucasian and the boys are black or Asian) but now I’m sad for these parentless children.
Here is where I stand on this matter…
Adopt from your heart. But keep in mind that if it is transracial, you WILL have a HUGE responsibility to keep your child’s culture and heritage as a part of their lives. I think particularly a black child, because it is so much in the forefront of the minds of both sides (white and black people looking in). A white parent adopting a black child does not need to keep the child down by making “racism” so prominent in their life that it’s a burden to bare. Make them aware, absolutely, but raise them properly, love them dearly, make sure there are other black people in their lives…but just raise them up to be decent, happy and independant individuals.
Secondly, a white couple trying to adopt a white child in the US is costly and takes an incredibly long time, especially if they want a girl. This is why a transracial adoption is more common.
And lastly, you all have very good points. Some of you…not so much!! I can appreciate the poster who said that he is black raised in a white family and they seem to have acted as if he didn’t have black skin. Not good! I am a white girl who grew up in a prominently Mexican area. I experienced reverse “sort of” racism by being given a hard time because I was not brown skin. I grew “thick” skin. That is the color of MY skin…thick!
All I know is, yes, adopt from your heart…..and if you truly love your new child and are in your RIGHT mind, you will raise them know WHO they are, but balancing their life with everything they need.
It can work. My white (irish) godparents adopted three black children who are now in their late 20s. They are all living normal and productive lives.
Black children need the same things white children need - a loving home, strong value system, firm religious values, etc.
If you teach a child to love who (s)he is, (s)he will be able to deal with life’s challenges. I grew up in a predominately white upper class neighborhood. I have strong black features, yet no one will ever make me believe my beautiful dark skin or african features are ugly or unattractive because my parents taught me to love who I am.
It takes a special kind of person to adopt, too bad MOST muslims don’t meet the challenge. Either you are a good parent or you aren’t. Children learn racism from us, the whites who say whites can’t or shouldn’t adpot white children need to check their hearts. Regardless of the number of blacks you hang around or grew up with, you may be a racist due to looking down on black children and/or considering they have special needs that whites can’t understand or relate to. AS Iv’e said numerous times, spread out. Stop hanging in the inner cities then yo’ll find blacks are no different than whites and many blacks love being black despite the hype.
When I was growing up I was friends with a little girl of Srilanken/ white origin. Her parents (a native Srilanken and a white women) decided to adopt a black infant when they were not able to conceive a son. At that time, a purely white couple would have been hard-pressed to adopt an African American child. They were put at the front of the line because the social worker was impressed with their multi-ethnic family. For the next few years, I bore witness to the emotional and physical abuse that was inflicted on that little boy. It makes me sick to even think about it. If he was difficult, hyper (what little boy isn’t?), cranky, or at 3 years old was more enthralled by playing with a football in the backyard than with his piano lessons; it was all because he was black. He was beaten by his “mother” at least twice in my presence and even at 10 I couldn’t hide my disgust. Several years ago during a visit to my parents, I ran into Johnathan at a local store. The boy who had once been blessed with a vibrant personality could now barely look me in the eye. Even in light of this horror story, however, I do not think that white people should be prohibited from adopting an African American baby. I would advocate stricter screening for all prospective adoptive parents of minorities. Being a minority doesn’t mean that you’ll make a good parent for a minority (or any child for that matter). There were signs during the home study that the “father” didn’t have the best attitude towards the adoption. If the social worker hadn’t automatically assumed that he would relate to another minority, Johnathan’s story might have had a better outcome. Good parents are good parents, no matter where they come from. As a Latina who was adopted by white parents, I can personally vouch for this statement.