A long article on praising children. Does praising children for being smart create underachievement?
For a few decades, it’s been noted that a large percentage of all gifted students (those who score in the top 10 percent on aptitude tests) severely underestimate their own abilities. Those afflicted with this lack of perceived competence adopt lower standards for success and expect less of themselves. They underrate the importance of effort, and they overrate how much help they need from a parent.
When parents praise their children’s intelligence, they believe they are providing the solution to this problem. According to a survey conducted by Columbia University, 85 percent of American parents think it’s important to tell their kids that they’re smart. In and around the New York area, according to my own (admittedly nonscientific) poll, the number is more like 100 percent. Everyone does it, habitually. The constant praise is meant to be an angel on the shoulder, ensuring that children do not sell their talents short. [MORE...]
Filed under: Children's Issues
When I come across articles like this it makes me wonder if I’m doing anything right as a parent.
I praise my kids all the time. I don’t normally say, “You’re so smart” but I do say “Good Job!” or “High Five!” and it usually motivates them.
Love is the greatest praise you can give your children. Helping them with homework, to understand it, not do it for them, is also a sign of love. And building self-confidence is crucial. When my son was trying to hit a ball with a bat, he kept missing and getting discouraged. So I stood close and threw the ball AT the bat. He hit it and jumped up and down, shouting “I did It!” He became a little league ballplayer. Once I taught him chess. He kept losing and got discouraged, so I let him beat me. After that, I never won another game with him. He started studying chess books lol. All it takes is love and the right moment of encouragement.
Ya Haqq!
you should praise your children…you should spank ‘em…spank ‘em good!
break out the “Switch” if you have to….use a dunda…an extension cord….whatever…
lol…(reminds me of classic beatings from back in the day)
…..for God’s sake….whatever you do…just keep them away from PokeMon!
Children should be praised and punished depending on their actions. I believe that kids should earn praise, and that you should not praise them for doing what they are supposed to do because that is what is expected, but when they do something above and beyond they should be praised and rewarded.