Seeking to raise ambitions
A group of parents here in Northern Virginia working to keep their children interested in academics and achievement. How about this in the Islamic Centers?
Twelve-year-old Alex Carter is an A student who loves science and reads a book a week. So it surprised his father when he announced last year that he didn’t want to enroll in an honors class that his teacher recommended for the following term.
“That class is for the smart people, the nerds,” Alex told him. His father replied, “Well, who are you?”
Alex is a junior league football player, an avid golfer and a lifelong suburbanite. He’s also one of only a handful of African American students in his seventh-grade class at Eagle Ridge Middle School in Ashburn. He dreams of becoming a professional athlete like his dad, Tom, who played cornerback for the Washington Redskins. But as he nears his teenage years in a predominantly white school in Loudoun County, his parents are concerned that he could abandon academic pursuits because he thinks they are better left to his white classmates.
That’s why Tom and Renee Carter joined last year with about 15 families, including the parents of nearly every black male sixth-grader, to push their sons to graduate on time in 2012 with options for the future and without lowering their expectations or test scores along the way. They call it Club 2012.
The group holds monthly house meetings, twice-weekly homework sessions, “rap sessions” between fathers and sons, and social or community service activities. The parents speak often with teachers and administrators, many of whom come to parent-organized events.
“We know there is an achievement gap in the county, in the state, in the country,” said Gabrielle Carpenter, mother of one of Alex’s classmates and a guidance counselor at Dominion High School in Sterling who founded Club 2012. Her goal is to make sure their sons aren’t part of it.
After eight years in her field, Carpenter said, she has seen countless young black students start school enthusiastically, then lose interest because they don’t feel “a part of their environment .“
Her son Alden was sometimes the only black student in his class in elementary school, and although he did well, she worried about how comfortable he was. In first grade, he got in trouble for pushing a girl who kept touching his hair. Another time, Carpenter asked Alden what color he was, and he answered, “Dark white.”
By middle school, an age when children begin to more fully grasp racial and social differences, Alden started sitting with the other black students at lunch. Concerned about their potential isolation, Carpenter decided it was time to get more involved. She approached Tom Carter, who was teaching math at Dominion High, a year ago with the idea of setting up a black parents group to raise their sons’ confidence and expectations.
They invited other parents, including doctors and business owners, to the Carpenters’ house to share some sobering statistics.
In affluent Loudoun, known for its strong schools, black students consistently lag behind their white classmates on standardized tests. Last year, 63 percent of black eighth-graders in the county passed the state math test; 62 percent passed in English. White students’ pass rate for both subjects was 89 percent. At Eagle Ridge, where 8 percent of students are black, the gaps were similar.
Many parents in the group have college degrees and can afford such activities as summer camp and tutoring, two indicators that researchers have linked to higher achievement.
But even with their advantages, these parents say they worry about the images of African American men that their sons absorb from popular media. Carter said he started noticing his son and his friends strutting, letting their pants sag and picking up slang. He became troubled when they started doubting their abilities in advanced math and science.
Carpenter said she understands that her son now cares most about his friends and being cool. So she figures if she can get all of the boys to buy into the idea that math is cool, too, then they will help one another succeed
[...]
“Middle-class African Americans are still very influenced by the stereotypes that black kids are not academically oriented,” said Pedro A. Noguera, a professor of sociology at New York University who studies achievement gaps.
“You have to defy the stereotypes associated with race or gender. So you need something else working in a very powerful way to show that being black and being academically oriented [are] not at odds. . . . This is where a parent’s role is very important.”
In the Washington area, many African American parents are finding new avenues to engage in their children’s education.
In Montgomery County, the NAACP Parents’ Council recently set up a Sunday Scholars program at some schools to help minority students prepare for standardized tests and to coach parents on how to be better advocates for their children. In the Alexandria area, some parents in the Parent, Teacher, Student Association at Thomas A. Edison High School have started working with minority students to improve academic performance and to increase participation in the International Baccalaureate program, providing extra support when needed.
[...]
As they clicked off agenda items, they passed around spreadsheets that plotted their sons’ academic progress. They noted that the number of A’s the boys earned rose from 30 in the spring to 37 in the fall, while the C’s decreased from 10 to three. They talked about individual gains or setbacks, careful to keep names coded to protect their sons’ identities.
In the basement, the boys playing video games were less discreet. “I got all A’s and B’s,” Alex said. Alden bragged, “This quarter I got all A’s.”
In a recent Club 2012 homework session at Eagle Ridge, parent volunteer John Johnson walked around the room to see what each child was doing. He grilled two students about poetry for an upcoming quiz. When another two got stuck factoring polynomials for their algebra homework, Johnson walked with them down the hall to ask a teacher for help.
Cameron Molina was in the back of the room printing out an English paper when he whispered to his friend, “Did you get recommended for all honors” classes?
As the room cleared, Carpenter said Alden was “up in arms” after his science teacher initially did not recommend him for an honors class next quarter.
“I love it,” she said.
Filed under: Children's Issues
This is a great piece. The peer pressure is so great for all teens but particularly AA. We constantly have to encourage my niece, who is so smart but caught up in hip hop/pop culture, well really she is no different than most teens but we could see the difference after middle school as to how ambitious she was. She hates to be called a nerd, I guess she is too cool to be a nerd even though she is in all honors classes.
In general all parents need to be taught what their kids should be learning, parenting skills, emphasizing hard work and high standards. All this information is available now on the internet, in books. Unfortunately many think that the teachers should be doing that job when we parents are the ones that have the greatest impact on our children.
Although, I suspect if someone does a study on AA college students there will be a disproportionately high number of Muslims compared to our numbers in the general population.
This was a very good article. Last year I put together a program for the kids in my neighborhood. I set up a competition that lasted a month and the winners would win $40.00. I saw most of the kids had horrible math scores and didn’t see the benefit in math. So I sat 2 boys down and showed them how to trade foreign currency with my forex trade platform. I gave them demo accounts and told them who ever has the most money at the end of the month would win $40.00. The platform forces the children to map out a plan, read economic reports and trends, read the local/ world news, and calculate risk/reward ratios. It was a learning experience for all of us but it certainly got them more excited about math and they await my announcement of a new competition.
The other event I did last year with just kids in my APT complex was take them to a farm in Aldie, VA where I learned Hunter Seat, and Eventing. I noticed a distinct difference in the children who worked on the farm for cheap or free lessons, verses the kids who parents could afford full price of classes/boarding. Most of the kids in my building have never been on a farm, heck, they’ve never been out of DC and farm life was of great benefit for them. The local farm kids kind of had a blast laughing at them in the beginning since some of them, contrary to my advice showed up with brand new Averex leather jackets, brand new jeans and the freshest sneakers. One Poor kid slipped his 1st day and fell face 1st in a pile of muddy water. In a short time I saw something wonderful happen. The kids went from spoiled to hard working. They competed in getting work done and farm kids worked with them to make things smoother. We started have classes at the end of the day on horse safety, health, and equipment and the farm kids helped the city kids with the test I prepared (sometimes cheating, but it was in good fun) one little boy had a asthma attack and refused to go to the hospital until his work was done. Someone else on the farm had an inhaler, so he used theirs. He was the smallest dude out there but was the 1st to go out with the local kids and herd the horses. Every weekend from 7am to 5pm I would take them to that farm and they would come back home so dirty, and yet extremely happy, even if they were dead tired. To this day the city kids ask when will I go to the farm again and the farm kids recommended smallest boy for free lessons.
Last winter I decided to link the farm and ski trips to grades. Unfortunately, no one had the grades to go on the ski trip inside my building but other kids in the neighborhood heard about me and now I have to deal with random kids knocking on my door around report card time.
I think keeping them away from the TV and Haraam music as much as possible while at the same time going out doors and interacting with them is the best thing we can do to link what’s learn in school can be cool and applied to real life situations.
One of the problems with trying to implement a program like this amongst parents of an Islamic school is that often they live too far away from the school and many of the parents who really NEED to be doing something like this just don’t have reliable transportation to meet this regularly.
Also, many AA Muslim children are not seeing professional AA Muslim adult role models so they are in the same bag in many ways. Being a doctor, lawyer or engineer is “something that Pakistanis or Arabs do”.
AA Muslim professionals are going to have to step up and show there’s nothing wrong with working hard, getting into college, and starting your own businesses/being a professional. There are far to many negative role models that call themselves “men of the sunnah” amongst the AAs that are showing the opposite: Be lazy and feel good about yourself.
Even at Islamic schools, the children of immigrants start forming negative opinions of their black peers based upon what they see happening around them. Many black parents bring their children late with little to no lunch, and they don’t get to go on field trips with the other children. The black children are also perenially in amongst the slower kids or get worse grades. Some of these kids are going through chaos in the home too and suffer from psycological problems as well. By the time many of these children reach the age of 10, their esteem is in the toilet and feel that they are inferior.
This is such a widespead problem that it really needs to be addressed so that more parents will know the importance of this for the future of their kids. The problem is that the immigrants don’t have these problems and they are the majority and it will be easily overlooked. I am glad that Tariq made this forum to bring attention to these problems so that I can show others
Saadik,
As former employee/volunteer of an Islamic school in Maryland. I must jump in and inform you that just as many Indian/Pakistani/Bangledeshi, Middle EAstern, and Arabs were ALWAYS late. In addition, the Arab mothers would try to sit in the classroom and chit chat with the teachers. The sisters were too shy to say something, alhumdulilah I wasn’t - they didn’t like me (not that I care), but they respected me, including the husbands.
Who ran out of class and caused DRAMA every day - the little Arab boy (in fact none of the Islamic schools want to deal with him, though he’s from one of the wealthiest and well-known arab families in this area). When he saw me, he’d straighten up, because ALL of the children, and their parents knew I have no patience for an out of control parents. I don’t care who the mother/father is (because they are NOT important to this sister, especially since i’ve grown up with truly important people have literally done things for the benefit of ALL of mankind).
Who had to get tracked down for late tuition payments? Every single ethnic group, regardless of SES. - A TIE
Now to address the problems of the tardy crew, I will suggest to you what I have suggested to our executive board.
1. Get a bus or offer to bring that little brother/sister to school on time (carpooling). Remember you’ll get rewarded for this insha Alllah. Note the bus can be used during Jumuah and other events for brothers/sisters who do not have transportation. I even went as far as to outline the fees for this service (which would cover the gas and driver’s salary)
2. Establish tutoring services for those who are behind. During my senior year in high school, I earned a lot of money tutoring stupid rich white kids (I grew up in Suburbia surrounded by doctors, CEOs, Entertainers, etc.) Many of the classrooms aren’t being used after school, AND many of our older children are home doing nothing, they should be at the masjid helping the little brothers/sisters. Free time is the devil’s playground. You or your wife start and supervise the program, but let the teenagers do the work.
3. Ask mom/dad if you and/or your wife can be of assistance by offering to help alleviate a burden, for the sake of Allah. Pay for the field trip. WHen I pay for my children’s trips, I always send extra, just in case. During my tenure at the school, I supplied the snacks for the after care program because I knew some folks are struggling and often have a difficult decision to make - give my child a snack or feed the family dinner!
4. Counseling - children have feelings and need someone to talk to. They also need to be respected.
Saddik, bring them some zakat DURING THE YEAR, don’t wait until ramadan. After all these are your Muslim brothers and sister now matter how they are fairing in this world. THen again they will probably have a higher station in paradise than us, because the more Allah loves a person, the more severe the trials.
And do remember what Allah has told us, O you who believe! Let not a group scoff at another group, it may be that the latter are better than the former; nor let (some) women scoff at other women, it may be that the latter are better than the former, nor defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames. How bad is it, to insult one’s brother after having Faith [i.e. to call your Muslim brother (a faithful believer) as: "O sinner", or "O wicked", etc.]. And whosoever does not repent, then such are indeed Zâlimûn (wrong-doers, etc.).
BTW, you may donate to the An-Nur Academy Scholarship Fund, please check my page for details.
IT could be you….and most of you, especially if you are SE Asian or Middle Eastern would be in the same situation or worse than that of blacks if you were back home. Now that we’ve gotten over who’s the worst of the worst, let start figuring out the solutions to uplift our ummah and implementing them, so we can once again benefit ALL of HUMANITY.
What will be your answer when Allah asks you how you have helped the oppressed, poor and weak? Based on your post, the blacks fit this category.
OOOPS, by the way JT,
Please come to PGMA, you’ll find many professional black men and women. Men, who are truly of the sunnah.
Wow some excellent comments here, definitely getting the gears in my brain rolling. You guys in DC sound so on top of things!
bint Will great point, bad parenting is not limited to one SES or ethnic group.
I can not comment on this from an Islamic perspective but as an AA I can identify with the article. Not so much as myself, personally, but my brother. In Elementary school he wore glasses, he is short, light skin, with ‘good hair’ and the youngest child and only boy (ie everybody took him for a punk so he had to prove himself). My cousin got killed in the playground across from his highschool, so my mother transferred him to a better one in a better neighborhood. He got kicked out of there at the end of his junior year after the relative of a young asian/african american girl came to the school to confront him about turning her out into the school slut. Almost the whole school took part in almost killing that boy and my brother was accused of being the ring leader. He eventually graduated from a good suburban highschool.
Unlike the kids in the article he was raised in the inner city, but went to good schools. He always had so much to prove and his intelligence wasn’t it. It makes me sad that AA young men don’t see the strength in a good education and would rather portray themselves as thugs. My brother and his friends were known in the hood as, ‘The Educated Hoodlums’.
Blacks need to change their culture and learn from, not totally copy, others and sSee what set of behaviors and temperments makes good results for self sufficancy and success. I sense that black shoot for crumbs most of the time because they have such a poor concept of honor and social standing.
The intellectual, and cultural disadvantage that blacks have are correctable if only they really see a problem within their selves. Another problem is obsurd pride that a lot of blacks have. I have hope for them only if they decide to change big time. If it is ever realized it may take decades.