The Children of Stranger Marriages
I wanted to comment on this post, but first I want to say that if I simply be a tabloid Blogger or “pick at scabs”, I could post a couple of “shocking” (but real) stories every week, but this is not my goal. I would like to see these problems be solved and not ignored and/or flat out denied. Something must be done about these things and it does us no good to point our fingers at other religious groups and say “hey they are worse!”
It pains me to say that there is an entire legion of Blackamerican Muslim youth (Many the products of Stranger Marriages) growing up with absentee Fathers. Let me be clear that there are plenty of Blackamerican men (including divorced ones) that are involved in their children’s lives and supporting them financially. However, I am talking about men – Muslim men - that have not even seen their children in months, years or sometimes even EVER (they divorced them during pregnancy). They do not pay any child support and do not desire to be a part of their children’s lives at all. Some of these “noble brothers” have fled overseas to “go study” while others hang around in the masjid. They proudly call themselves “Aboo/Abu [fill in child’s name here]” but they haven’t seen their son or daughter nor takes care of any of his children. Meanwhile, there are groups of concerned brothers struggling to establish some type of male figure in these children’s lives, but they are disparaged by these “noble brothers” for doing things of “no benefit”.
I have often wondered how these children growing up in these awful situations would turn out, but recently I, like Umar, have begun to run into some of these Blackamerican Muslim teenagers and children whose Fathers are not involved in their lives at all and they are growing up angry and resentful.
These children of these “movement Muslims” are getting a very bad image of Islam and Muslims in the name of their Father’s “piety”. I know one “movement Muslim” that sadly used to leave his family for long periods of time and not find any steady employment because he was “giving dawah” and did not want to be “tied to the dunya”. He was very fatalistic and would say when his wife complained that she had to pay the bills, “hey, the lights were not shut off so you should be thankful that Allah took care of you”. Yes, Allah DID take care of them, but it was because Allah gave her the wherewithal to go out and get a job and pay the bills (that he was not paying) while he was out on his journeys.
Eventually, his wife essentially left Islam and sent the children to church. His daughter not only left Islam, but married a Christian Preacher while his son had a child out of wedlock and plays the drums at a church. How does he see it? He will say that all of this happened because he was not involved in his movement enough.
Another friend of mine married a sister with a son whose father is not involved in his life. He took his step-son to visit his father and this “noble brother” said - in front of his son – that “that is YOUR son now!”
And the stories go on and on and they make me sad. This is why I can’t understand why people think it is of “no benefit” to organize programs for children like this. It also underscores the need for Blackamerican Muslim men to grasp the importance of paternal investment, working and having family responsibilities. This means more than “increasing the Ummah” and takes more than just “planting one’s seed in fertile soil”. We must make committed and responsible fatherhood a priority in the Blackamerican Muslim community.
Some may write me some emails trying to convince me to leave community projects like this and that this is not necessary as all we have to do is “following the Sunnah”, but I say to you all that we need more than just a slogan. “Following the Sunnah” has to mean something other than a statement on the tongue. We need a program to teach these men what manhood is.
To underscore the importance of Paternal Investment, consider the following:
- 85% of children who exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes
- 90% of homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes
- 71% of pregnant teenagers lack a father in their lives
- 50% of mother-only families live below the poverty line
- 85% of children who exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes
- Teens from mother-only homes are more sexually active, and girls are more likely to become single-parent mothers
- 71% of high school dropouts come from homes without a father present
- 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes
- 80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes.
- 75% of adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes
- 70% of juveniles in state operated institutions have no father in the home
- 50% of mother-only families live below the poverty line
- Teen girls from mother-only families are more likely to become depressed
- Teens in mother-only homes are more susceptible to peer pressure
- Young adults who grew up in mother-only homes had a higher high school drop out rate
I think we can all agree that a child NEEDS a Father in his/her life. It is appalling that for all the ‘knowledge’ brothers claim to be seeking, they do not seem to understand this simple concept. This is a looming crisis. There are many great Blackamericans Muslims that are great fathers to their children, but there are many Blackamerican children that do not have one. No one to admire. No one to inspire them. No one to teach them life’s lessons.
I’ll end by quoting from my first article
We can not solve these ills by continuing to look the other way. I fear for the future of Islam for our childrens’ generation with these current trends. If things do not change drastically, MANY in the next generation will be illiterate or near illiterate and unable to sustain a good job, which will lead to many being unable to get married, which will lead to a permanent underclass of feckless societal misfits. Not to mention problems like fornication, and possibly even apostasy! May Allah protect our children. Ameen
Filed under: Black American Muslims | Tagged: Blackamerican Muslims
Imaam Malik and other scholars of the past left their families behind for months in the search for knowledge
Excellent article Tariq. I know that you have seen a lot out there and are trying to solve these problems. Don’t let the people tell you that it is “haraam”
breathtaking stuff. glad to see that people are finally speaking up for the voiceless
We really appreciate all the work you are putting in and bring this to light. Our children are already turning to drugs, gang activity, and crime and some girls are already unwed mothers
Aboo Imran,
“Imaam Malik and other scholars of the past left their families behind for months in the search for knowledge”
When you consider the circumstances in which they left is it the same? And dare I say ANY man that has children and leaves them, no matter how noble their goal, is irresponsible? Would you leave your children? Its misguided justifications such as yours that probably fuel such nonsense.
Brother Tariq,
Whether people want to keep their head in the sand or not, the fact that you personally know children who grew up or are growing up this way as I do, DEMANDS our action.
“When you see an evil action on the part of someone you must change it with your hand, if you cannot do so with your tongue, if you cannot do so hate it within your heart and that is the weakest of faith.”
The fact that there are innocent children involved doesnt give us the luxury of hating it within our hearts. You are onto something good and as always there will be those who wil try to distract you….
@ Tariq
This is an excellent post and one of your best in a while. I hope to see more from you like this. Perhaps you can use this info to develop programs for brothers to get back on track.
@ Aboo Imran
Ahmad narrates from Ibn Amru who said the Prophet peace be upon him said:
“It’s enough of a sin for a man to waste away those he is entrusted to care for.”
(كفى بالمرء إثما أن يضيع من يقوت)
Imam Ahmad was asked about those that don’t work and say they trust in Allah, he said “Everyone has to trust in Allah, but they have to earn for themselves some sustenance.” - Al-Fath, Ibn Hajar, 11/276
Bishr used to say “If I had children I would work and earn for them.”
Malik narrates in the Muwatta’ from that the Messenger of Allah said:
“Travel is a portion of punishment, so when one of you is finished with his trip then he should hurry back to his family…”
Ibn Abd ‘l-Barr comments on this saying:
“This hadith proves that staying away from ones family without need is against the Din… it is not proper nor it it permissible, so when a person has taken care of his business he is obligated to hurry back to his family whom he must support out of fear of what might befall them by God’s decree in his absence.”
Given these previous statements of the Salaf, please spare us the use of their noble actions as excuse for unemployment and laziness.
@ Hood
Given these previous statements of the Salaf, please spare us the use of their noble actions as excuse for unemployment and laziness.
Right on bro! I am so sick of these brothers searching for things out of context and sullying the image of Islam. The ones still calling to that nonsense are nothing but “dead enders” that do not realize that their movement is DONE. They need to be called out for the damage they have done
This is a great blog, I think we need more of this. Accolades for the men who do step in. I have been on both sides. I was married than divorced with two children, father pays less than half of support (when he does pay). Father well versed in the Quran and is “a practicing muslim”. Don’t speak to children unless they call him (what does that teach them, “that they should always chase the men”?). But a loving husband and a loving (step)father makes the pain go away. I think the community should work towards recognizing those fathers that are fathers to thier children, and hopefully that will encourage others to follow suit (all though it will take a lot more to get “noble brothers” out of this slump). I do not think the issues at hand are all the same for all the men. Each case may have to be looked a individually. I also think knowledge is the key. These men should know the ramifications of their actions/behavior from Allah. The consequences in this world is nothing compared to the consequences in the hereafter.
Salaams Tariq
Ma sha Allah. An important post. Keep ‘em coming.
Abdur Rahman
Great stuff as usual Tariq. I have two sons myself, the oldest of which will be staring pre-school this January. It is going to be hard enough to leave him there for three hours a day, I cannot imagine going days, weeks, months and even years without seeing him. God forbid.
The people who talk about have simply substituted the rule of the street, for selected rules of Islam. Their behavior hasnt changed, only the excuses they give for it.
Before Islam they lived on the state to “stick it to the man” and not to support the white power system. As Muslims they refuse to work and support their families so as to not be tied to the dunya, to become scholars.
Their behavior hasnt changed at all.
As a person with a lot of ties to the immigrant community I can tell you that there are many issues there as well. Maybe of a different variety, but just as serious, and no one is addressing them either.
Aboo Imran, Get a life and according to your reasoning, Aren’t you also wasting your time by posting comments on the blogs of people of desire like us.
Should we as muslims have our own annual celebration of fatherhood or celebrate father’s day? Should we incorporate this into Masjid programs?
We should also have more mentoring programs in the Masjid.
Salaam
[...] This is why you found brothers using the excuse of “seeking knowledge” as reasons to not take care of their families and responsibilities. I simply do not have the energy at the present moment (nor do I suspect I ever will) to reiterate [...]
ASA, I applaud your efforts, Brother. As a single Muslim sister, who raised 4 children without a father in the household for most of their lives, I have first hand knowledge the effects of children growing up without the father in the house. I have and continue to pray to Allah that this attitude of the man will change here in America, and they will understand the importance of their role intheir childrens lives. Though all of my children are grown, now, they are struggling to maintain their Din. My son has been the most affected. I pray to The Creator that he and and my girls continue to grow in Islam and remain on the Straight Path and continue to SEEK TRUTH. MashaAllah, your sister in Faith
ASA,
Pardon me if I sound sectarian, but this mentality of not taking care of one’s kids has never been acceptable in Imam WD Mohammed’s community.
The same brother who will go overseas to study and not take care of his family is the same brother who will curse the “kafir” government and then send his “wives” to get welfare from the “kafir.” Truly shameful!
The ironic part is that these brothers, who have this mindset and live in squalor are part of movements that have brothers from India or Pakistan that are living in nice homes, driving nice cars and feeding their wives and kids in AMERICA. Just compare the average Blackamerican brother who goes out in the “path of ALLAH” for 40 days with the average Pakistani-American brother who goes out into the “path.”
قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم : خيركم خيركم لأهله
The Prophet (SAAS) said, “The best of you is he who is best to his family.”
قال الرسول صلى الله عليه وسلم: أحب الناس إلى الله تعالى، أنفعهم للناس
He (SAAS) also said, “The most loved of the people to ALLAH ta’ala are those who benefit people.”
Taking care of your kids is the SUNNAH!
ASA,
May Allah Bless you Brother for not being discouraged to put these issues out there. I am appalled that anyone would tell you that community programs and projects relating to these problems would be of no benefit. Brother they are defiitely needed. We as a community have got to stop sweeping things under the rug or sugar coating these serious issues. We are supposed to work on our issues and how can you work on something if it is not spoken about or a dialogue is not created. I know first hand myself about these situations because I am in one as well and I will tell you it is truely devasting. I am a single parent trying to raise and take care of 5 children with no help. My exhusband didn’t take on responsiblity like he was supposed too when we were married and also now that we are divorced. The only help that I have now is my mother who is the only living family member that I have. And we are really struggling really really struggling and I too fear that my children may not turn out the way I had hoped for Islamically and Allah knows best. I cry about this all the time because I feel like my childrens lives and that of my mother and myself were ruined. I had no idea that this would happen to me and that we would be treated so bad by a Brother who claims he is walking the path of Allah and doing Dawah. Very very sad indeed. All I can ask for now is the Mercy from Allah and that he will keep me as strong as possible which is also hard because I am disabled. Please keep up the good work Brother and getting people to wake up to this epidemic because many people, family, husbands, wives, grandparents and children are seriously being affected and damaged by this. Remember these very children who are experiencing this are supposed to be our future. Something InshaAllah has to be done.
Sister Emerson:
May Allah reward you for you strength and make it easy for you. I would like to know what the Muslim scholars say about a Muslim woman going to the secular court system to try to get child support from her husband. In the United States men can be imprisoned for failure to pay child support. This is a touchy subject for many people. I would like to hear what the scholars have said on the issue.
“Dawud said:
Pardon me if I sound sectarian, but this mentality of not taking care of one’s kids has never been acceptable in Imam WD Mohammed’s community.”
I have been thinking the same thing! I don’t see this as a huge problem in there communities. Even more so when you talk about their strong holds (Chicago, ATL, DC, NC area). This type of bafoonery isn’t allowed at all. Dudes aren’t allowed to run through a community trading sisters in like baseball cards. People don’t get married in 3 months or less.
Marriages aren’t secrete and a non working man catches hell in their community.
When I was in highschool I went to Masjid Muhammed in dc for juma and the Imam ask a brother to stand and openly shouted out the brother after juma for talking to sisters in a way that made them unconfortable. He made it clear that it wouldn’t be tolerated, and while it’s not appropreate to ban him from the Masjid he will do so for the protection of the sisters and called on all the brothers in the Masjid to set him straight if he was ever cault harassing sisters again. The Imam ask the congregation for their support in this matter and all the brothers answered in a very loud Allah Ukbar to affirm their stance with the Imam.
People keep saying they act to “church-ee” what ever that means. However, no one can deny they they have the most stable community when it comes to African Americans. They have sent their kids over seas for Classical Quranic Arabic and Islamic Law (Syria and Malaysia) programs and they still come back remembering who they are and were they came from.
I have seen more of them STAY muslim and marry one sister than in any other community. I have seen them not lose themselves when they get to college either. I saw the sisters at Spellman and Howard still covering and attending Juma while brothers from NYC, PA, and other communities didn’t even give you salaams on campus unless it was in a wisper.
At the same time the so called WD camp brothers came to class dressed in suits or buisness causual, spoke well, didn’t act any different at the masjid than they did in class and openly greeting muslims as if it was Eid when ever they saw you.
Besides some of the juma’s being long winded, I don’t see why people hate on them so much. Certainly since most kids don’t know what WD said 20 yrs ago or listen to his lectures. I don’t see the youth holding to his every word as if it’s sunnah. I really don’t hear his name unless you’re talking to someone outside his community who is hating on why they won’t attend a masjid associated with him.
It’s wierd
There are many positive aspects of the WD community. They really do have high standards and take account for their followers. The Dar ul Islam movement back in the day was similar in that regard, but always more Islamically “authentic”. The problem I see with the WD community is that they are a little OVERALLY concentrated on their African American identity as opposed to just being Muslims.
They also adhere to many of the annoying behaviors of Black Christians and often don’t concentrate enough on the fard of the Deen. How many times are their Masjids locked for every Salaat accept for fajr, Magrin, and Ishah.. They also can tend to be rather clickish. Honestly, I’ve been to their masjids and thought they have many positive aspects, they seem to also be hyper American Nationalists.
But as I stated they keep great accountability. I think if they worked with organizations like MAS more, and opened up to accepting leaders from outside their rank, they would get better.
They also strike as being a bit into the a Muslim version of “prosperity ministries”. Interest based Mortgages in their community are NO PROBLEM..
Hijabisoverated:
I know you get this alot, but your alias “Hijab is over-rated’ DRIVES ME UP THE WALL. Its basically equivelant of a Muslim having the name, “Salaat is over rated” or “The Fard is over rated” or “the Sunnah is over rated”, aoothoobillah. It really offends my Islamic sensibilities and is horrible dawah. But thats my opinion, which I’m sure you take issue with.
Ma-salaama
Abdul-jabbar
Abdul Jabbar,
Do you put wearing the hijab on the same par as prayer? I wasnt aware that hijab was one of the pillars of Islam………but I guess I learn something every day.
AbuSinan:
Is the Hijab fard for the woman or not? That was the context in which I made my comment.
No, Hijab is not equal to Salaat. But I think most people understand the point I was tryig to make.
Of course hijab is fard but to compare it with prayer is just plain wrong. There is no Sunnah or Shari’a punishment for not wearing hijab. It is the choice of the woman and the only one she has to answer to about her choice in this matter is God.
When you wrote “Its basically equivelant of a Muslim having the name, “Salaat is over rated”
YOU compared it with prayer. It just isnt in the same league. We can always find things to pick at with other people.
I find it is better for your own good to look in the mirror and see what you can work on with yourself instead of getting “driving up the wall” over a screen name. The fact that anything on the web can elicite this sort of response should worry you a bit.
I think the point that “Hijabis” trying to make with her name is that it is ironic with all of the ills and wrong things happening in our Muslim community that it occupies such a large place in people’s mind. Who cares if children are being molested and abused, why arent the women wearing hijab? Who cares if the husband raped his wife, why wasnt she wearing hijab?
Or in the case of Saudi recently, who cares if the woman was raped, she wasnt wearing hijab so probably deserved it.
Abu Sinan:
If a Muslim man had a screen name that said “the beard is over rated” I would have the same, if not greater degree of discomfort.
If a woman choses not to wear it, that is between her and Allah, but don’t show contempt for that which is fard or even wajib in Islam. Don’t practice it..Between you and your lord, but to deride it…I think is not a good policy.
I know we have our problems in WD’s community but most brothers I know adore their children. I have been a muslim for over 20 years and never thought about abandoning my family.
Salaam
It happens in the WD Community but not to the level of those in the NE. There are some WD Leaders who still support, tired lazy, crazy Brothers, no matter how bad they treat their wives and children.
Abdul Jabar,
Again, I take issue with your latest post. The beard is NOT fard, so you are going to compare the beard with things that are fard? The beard is Sunnah. Nowhere, to my knowledge, is it mentioned in The Qur’an.
The beard is Sunnah, that is clear. Again, to compare the beard to prayer, or even to the Hijab, would be a mistake.
I also do not think “Hajibis” is “showing contempt”. I think she makes a valid point. The hijab certainly IS over emphasised when there are much more important issues facing the Ummah which get regularly ignored.
As Salaam Alaikum,
I really have no idea how to respond. I figured if anyone took the time to read my blog they would see I have no-posted agenda on Khimar one way or the other. So the name has no intention of shock value but for me is just a stated simple fact. Working all those years at MASFF has only increased my view about it. However, it’s my personal view and that’s about it. From the name one shouldn’t assume I’m against Khimar in the slightest.
(Which would be retarded since I cover myself and why Lord do I even have to say this in the 1st place??? *sighs*)
As Abu Sinan said; it’s just basically what I feel. I really don’t think it should even be an “Islamic Sensitive” issue at all.
However, I digress
As far as the WD community being “OVERALLY concentrated on their African American identity as opposed to just being Muslims.”
I’d agree, more so in some masjids than others who claim to support him but I see the very same thing at the immigrant masjids as well. Its ok for them but some how it’s bad when the AA community does it.
We have to march for Palestine but if we say march against police brutality in the inner city then suddenly there is a problem and no one wants to touch it with a ten foot pole. That’s to “radical”, that’s a “black” thing?
Where suppose to break our necks getting across town to their khutbars and respect their Imams but they act like they would die if they have to come into the city for our juma’s and no matter how much one might know in the WD community the over whelming practice is not respect the Imams that serve that community.
We’re supposed to dress in thobes and eat only Middle Eastern food. The khimar shouldn’t have colors or fringe, only abaya is ok and I’m suppose to act super shy and talk like a simple minded child when I’m around men.
That WD community has women on the board, voicing their views and is to fly with their khimar.
(Even if more of them are staying Muslim this is a problem)
“They also adhere to many of the annoying behaviors of Black Christians and often don’t concentrate enough on the fard of the Deen.”
I can’t speak on this to much because I can only speak for the Masjids I’ve gone too. However, besides juma being to long at some of the masjids, I’ve never seen people break out into song and dance; I’ve seen them check brothers and sisters (in private) about proper dress when entering the masjid. So I don’t know what annoying black Christian things they do, unless you’re talking about sisters and brothers sitting together with their families in the lunch room. They don’t spend much time hating on America or ranting about how great America is at juma. Nor do they argue miniscule points of figh, hadith, or Sharia unless you’re taking on of those classes on the weekend. Even then they keep the topics relevant to what they think is important to the community. So for instance you won’t get topics like:
Is it ok to eat your wife and how should one beat a wife?
How many inches should your beard be or high should you pants hang above you ankle?
Who is on the proper aqeeda and who isn’t?
How many ways can I not wear the Khimar and far do I need to be against the wall in order for me to get the most blessings for my salat?
Do I have to give my Ba’yat to this masjid or a Imam in order to be a real community member?
However, the classes I or others attend at the Masjid (Masjid Muhammed) were title:
12 step drug rehab program
Power in sisters group - which teaches basic sewing, cooking, and business concepts for women looking to earn some extra money.
Classical Quranic arabic for every level which was taught by the youth whom they’ve sent to Syria and Malaysia for 3 years of training.
Tazweed classes, most of which were taught by the sisters because they majored in Arabic at GW or went over seas to learn.
Sisters spent the night at the Masjid on Thursday nights in prayer and recitation practice. A brother would come between prayers and give a short talk. These talks mostly focused on taheed and charity.
Hajj classes, lots and lots of parenting classes; which parents had to participant in because their children were down stairs in the Sunday school classes. You weren’t allowed to drop your kid off and go about your way.
Etc…
Now I’ve heard that some places aren’t very open with their leadership positions. They fight hard to keep it with in the “click” and the old guard won’t let go so the youth can take over more. However, I’ve seen this in the immigrant masjids too. Every masjid I’ve been in has its established “crew” but at the very least I know when I go to a WD masjid I will get a Salaam Alaikum and decent hospitality. I know I can take a non Muslim woman (WD masjid) and they won’t be made to feel like they have Ebola. I more than likely won’t get sized up only for someone to tell me what they find wrong with me before they even know my name.
If you want them to openly enforce some type of gender segregation, maybe say all music is haram, promote polygamy, have more lectures on what an obedient wife would look like, talk more about the evils of America and less about the evils within our own hearts that keep us doing what’s best for our communities so that they appear more “Deenish and on the Fard” then I don’t think its going to happen any time soon.
Perhaps more lectures on why Muslims are the best and we had Spain and less about the crack house up the block, the funds needed to bring more certified teachers to the schools or why it might be important to band with the men at 7th Day Church up the block to start a neighborhood watch isn’t as important as debating about when we should start Ramadan and or if we should pray with our hands to the side or over our hearts.
(As if this hasn’t been debated to death)
I don’t know what more you want them to do. The adults and the kids have a firm foundation in Tawheed, Pillars, manners, and Islamic History.
I haven’t seen an Imam call something halal haram or vice versa and encourage it. I’ve never seen them call for the men to not wear beards or the women to not wear khimar. It seems the general policy is that the kids and the adults already know the various opinions on these points anyway because they are never taught to follow ANY Imams or WD’s every action and word as if it’s the only way. They’re not even told that his way is the best way. Basically, nothing is forced, and you’re not made to feel as if you have to conform to a way or a point of view. You are allowed to decide for yourself and no one claims you’re less Muslim because of it.
Maybe thats why more kids are staying Muslim and marring Muslims only 1 time in their community.
I have a cousin that reverted to Islam while in the service (he was born Muslim, but was “raised” Christian).
He met his first wife in the service, she had a son.
They had a couple more kids.
They didn’t get along.
He became more deeply involved in the Salafi Manhaj, she fought against it.
He was so inspired that he moved overseas to study.
They eventually divorced, however, all of the kids are with him, to include her son from a previous marriage.
Alhamdullilah, Allah (SWT) has saw fit to allow the son to become Hafiz.
This blog and others keep trying to illustrate that certain problems are pandemic. I just wanted to illustrate an alternate experience.
I’ve been to WD Masjids that have Friday fish fries where they play R&B Music outside the Masjid. Competing between Rick James and the Adhan shouldn’t be a choice a Muslim has to make.
Buying houses with Riba..No problem in the WD community.
I don’t expect a woman to act like a timid child, but I don’t need to see a bunch of neck rollin’ sass either.
Sisters just walk up to a group of brothers having a conversation…no modesty no hiyah.
Very LOW level of gender separation.
Khutbahs with Imams sounding like T.D. Jakes
Khutbahs with some SERIOUS freestyle interpretations of ayat of the Quran.
HEAVY disregard for the importance of hadeeth as the basis of Islamic rulings.
I think you get the point.
WD community just has to change certain slight elements and I think they would “get it”.
Also: Palestine is the home of the third holiest place in the Deen. To expect all Muslims to be concerned with it is pretty important.
I do agree with community involvement and working to address local issues.
I think Imam Siraj Wahaj is an example of what a WD community could benefit from a more “sunnah based” identity.
As Salaam Alaikum,
Again, I can only speak for the Masjid I went to in my youth (masjid Muahmmed). However, just to make sure I did ask my husband has he ever seen any leader speak on buying houses with riba, Rick
James (music) ever playing over any Adhan or Sassy neck rolling sisters on the march. lol He said no to all but I can bare witness to elder woman in kitchens giving brothers a piece of their minds for busting into the sisters food lines or having seconds before the sisters had a chance to eat at all.
I guest its just where you go but it shouldn’t be an direct inditment of the entire community. No place is above some improvement.
I don’t know what Siraj Wahaj tapes and lectures you’ve been to and maybe in his older age he’s mellowed out. However, when to heard him speak he very fire band style, loud, and long winded in plenty of the lectures I’ve heard him speak at (if this is what you mean by TD Jakes).
Can’t speak on “heavy” disregaurd for hadith. I heard them use them in lectures and they have hadith classes. They do use a lot more Quran than they do Hadith depending on what masjid you go to. (which I’m not sure how that is bad. Unless the topic in general commands a hadith, which every subject doesn’t) Like I said juma and classes are usually 2 completly diferent things.
Juma’s are generally the older guys and classes are usually under the youth banner; which in most places have been trained to some degree in traditional Islamic concepts.
Even so I think the general policy is that all the hot topics related to hadith have been debated to death and they don’t think they should be the main focus because people get so cault up and tend to stray away from the middle and cause fitna. Some up and leave the deen becuase they’ve lost the innocence and peace the had debating hadith topics. It can wear you out if you’re not careful. So they tell you what the various views are and don’t endorse or enforce any view and allow you to decide for yourself.
Most of the Masjids are small and so the gender segregation will be less. I tend to see people self segregate anyway in the lunch room unless they want to sit with their family. They certainly will not cut sister space or make it uncomfortable for them to attend Juma to uphold gender segregation rules but instead press upon everyone that they are grown adults outside of the majsid so don’t come into the masjids and suddenly act retarded.
Sister walking up on brother talking use erk me to but I don’t know why this is considered “unIslamic” as long as the convo stays respectful whats the problem? Khadijah (ra) ask to marry the Prophet (pbuh) not the other way around. I’ve also read hadith on women walking right up to the Prophet (pbuh) in public when he was with brothers and asked his hand in marriage. He didn’t shun those women but just told them he can’t afford anymore wives but the brother who was with him was available. This was a matter of fact conversation.
You will also notice that a lot of the youth went to Clara Muhammed together, sunday school and basically have known each other all their lives. Many of them are cousins or related by marriage and they don’t see the big deal. I see this in immigrant masjids too with families with long histories in the community but it’s usually at their houses. Where they also allow their children to spend the night. I’m not sure what can be done about this besides pulling people to the side for a private chat.
My biggest issue with WD community is the old gaurds reluctance to let go of the reins and the contempt some have for the very youth they encouraged to go overseas/ college and learn in the 1st place. Many youth came back with great zeal and ambition and got their ideas shot down. They lost a lot of good people being stubburn. They tell you to come help, but if you point out something that needs improvement or that the current person isn’t knowledgable enough for the job; then there will be resistance from the old gaurd who feel they’ve gotten this far, so who are you to to judge…
If you see something you find issue with just pull the person to the side and speak with them on it.
I can never understand why people like to pick on the WD community as if they are doing some thing different than the immigrant community. They are doing a lot right in that they have established indigenous American Muslim communities, some that are over 30 years old.
Everybody here gets a mortgage with Riba and the immigrants are first in line. They are mortgage brokers and agents. Intermingling happens in all communities even in Muslim countries particularly amongst the upper classes.
But people want to harp on WD community, if you want to make complaints that people are not upholding Islamic principles fine but stop highlighting one community as if they are the only ones with problems.
“Of all our studies history is the most attractive and best qualified to reward our research, as it develops the springs and motives of human actions and displays the consequences of circumstances which operates most powerfully on the destinies of human beings.” (Unknown)
I truly believe that those who unreasonably criticize Warith’s/Amin’s should look to history as instruction to avoid being dominated by those who do not have the AA community’s interest at heart.
How did the Yemeni’s come to dominate Mauritania and parts of the Magrheb?
How did Arabs come to dominate other areas that had majority African populations.
How is it that immigrant groups in America are dominating the agenda for American muslim community?
Generals study military history to understand tactics and strategies in their preparation for defensive and offensive operations.
Financial gurus study economic history to prepare for financial opportunities.
The study of history will allow us to become less reactionary and defensive in our approach to issues in our community.
WD’s community is more in touch with historical realitiies so we will not make the mistakes of allowing foreigners dominate and use us for their agenda.
Yes, we have many problems but we have the fortitude to resolve them.
Salaam
LOL @ fish frys and Rick James. I’ve visited masajid that are with WD in DC, NC, OH, IN and MI and have never witnessed music playing or competing with the adhan for khutbatul jumu’ah.
WD Mohammed’s community does have flaws and can be critized like any other community. Going back to the original topic post, however, I would say that the level of family dysfunction within WD’s community is far less than in other communities that are Blackamerican Muslims.
Hijabisoverated - I feel you in regards to your comments about the old guard. I know several of the young adults from WD’s community who went to Syria to study at Shaykh Kuftaro’s school. Upon their return, I know of some of them that weren’t even allowed to come back and teach a tajweed class. Some of the Imams that barred them from teaching don’t even know “Alif, ba, ta” much less read Qur’an while the students they blocked studied Arabic grammar, ahadeeth, and Shafi’i fiqh. I’ve personally been accussed of being an “Arab” simply because I studied and quote Qur’an and ahadeeth in Arabic during the khutbah. So I empathize with that you’re saying.
There are, of course, historical reasons that leads towards such psychology. There are those in the old guard that want to old on to their status, but I think the greater influence is that they’ve seen so many brothers go overseas to study that came back to be bums.
Dawud:
Yeah, my room mate and 2 of my best friends went to Syria and came back only to meet some hostility. I think some of the elders are afraid of the unknown. They’ve worked so hard and can’t see themselves just standing back and letting these babies take over. They’d be crushed to see it all fall down around them but at the same time we can’t wait for all of them to die off either.
I think thats one of the reasons IWD steped down in the 1st place. The elders would come to the conventions and cheer to what he thinks needs to be done. They’d agree on the youth, and female increased involvement and then turn right around and not make any changes at all.
Some places still don’t have elections of Imams or the board. Some places still keep youth and woman off the board. Its run more like a family dictatorship.
Thats frustrating, but if they want to survive they have to left more of the youth take over and more accountablility to its members needs to take place.
“The study of history will allow us to become less reactionary and defensive in our approach to issues in our community.”
This is the primary reason why I decided to become a historian. I work on African Islam and the African Diaspora in the Middle East. I believe there are lessons to be learned. Sometimes I wish I had become an Americanist to study the history of Islam in America.
Margari,
Are there any books or research on the African Diaspora in the middle east?
John Hunwick and Eve Trout Powell have a book of primary documents on the African Diaspora in the Middle East. There’s not much out there, but its a start. Eve Trout Powell has a great book called “A different shade of Colonialism” on Egypt’s colonization of Sudan. The research out there is more specialized, not always geared for the non-specialist. There are books about the desert frontier in the Senegambia region (relationship with white Saharan communities and Black communities), an anthropological book of the relationship between the black Haratine and white Shurfa (descendants of Muhammad s.a.w.) in Morocco. There are a few articles on the Sidis in India, from Malik Ambar’s dynasty. There are also works on Nigerian Bori cults in the Middle East. And one article on West African communities in Cairo. But besides Bernard Lewis’s work on slavery and race and Hunwick and powell, much of this is uncharted territory.
WD’s community needs to focus more on ISLAM than RACE..Islam is not about race, but submission to ALLAH (SWT)
ASA
I’m so sick and tired of people bashing the WD community.
That is the only community I feel emotionally safe enough to allow our children to be apart of.
No community is perfect, but that doesn’t mean there is no benefit even islamically to an individual.
What I see is malicious slander, and unearned hostility toward the WD community.
When these immigrant Masjids stop emphasizing the superiority of Arabs over others, when they stop focusing only in Israel and Palestine, and when they are respectful to black elders instead of talking to them and treating them like they are kids, maybe then, they can sit back, and make a judgment.
SHUT UP!
We deserve to worship in a non hostile place and our children deserve better than this.
I can’t believe this!!!
as salaam alaykum,
Proud Black Mother, I feel you deeply on this issue. Don’t let the refusal of other’s to recognize our right not to have to deal with the trauma of racism and prejudice in our spiritual spaces faze you. You keep doing what is right. I know kids who have pretty much left this deen because of how they were treated in the masjid. It’s not a small issue for our children.
You do what you need to do to keep your children on the straight path, they deserve to be treated with respect and feel at home in the mosque.
Assalaam aleikum everyone.
Since I have my suspicions that I’m older the everyone else writing their opinions here, I will remind myself and you all that we should not engage in backbiting. The Rasool (saw) found this action despicable, and warned against it. So, to myself and you, lets stop backbiting the Ummah, be it in part or as a whole.
“He invited all his companions to that constant effort of gentleness and forgiveness: “If you hear about your brother something of which you disapprove, seek from one to seventy excuses for him. If you cannot find any, convince yourselves that it is an excuse you do not know.”
Hadîth reported by al-Bayhaqî.
What do these people have in common?
Actor, Malik Yorba
NFL Player, Muhsin Muhammad
Singer, Rozanda “Chili” Thomas
Senator, Barak Obama
Answer: All had Muslim Fathers and NONE are Muslim today
Is there a verse in the Quran like THIS ONE ?
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As Salaamualaykum
Islam ain’t new but what we go through is. WD’er like Salafi’s need to embrace Sunni Islam more, one way of doing that is to embrace one of the four mathabs of fiqh instead of this do it yourself fiqh AA are on, not two mention the two mathabs of aqeedah instead of tossing muslims off the manahj for not thinking Allah is human being in the sky.
[...] was in a conversation with a Muslim about the number of dead beat dads and the other social problems within the Blackamerican Muslim community. He told me that he felt [...]