Eid For the ‘Other’
While web surfing, I found this piece on the loneliness of Eid for converts. A few months ago, I wrote an article in the Muslim Link that described the loneliness that I would feel in my old community during Eid. Here is an excerpt:
I spent my first decade in my hometown as a Muslim attending an ethnic masjid where the Imam did not speak English. The vast majority of the people at this masjid were of one ethnicity, the Khutbah was in their language, they spoke in their language in the masjid and they did things amongst themselves. That may sound wonderful, but the converts were left out.
Eid would be a festive occasion for them having spent it with family and friends, while I – being single at the time - would spend that day sitting in my room alone watching TV or some years even choosing to go to work immediately after the Eid Salaat even if I had the day off from work. The same was the case for the few other converts.
We’d go to Eid Salaat, pray, hug the brothers and then everyone was gone with places to go and people to see, while I had nowhere to go and noone to see. The masjid would be almost completely empty at Thuhr time. Eid was one of the loneliest times of the year for me for many years.
The DC community is much different as there are a lot of converts and indigenous Muslims that get together and do things. This would also be the case in other cities with large numbers of indigenous Muslims such as Philadelphia or the NY/NJ area, but this is not the case in so many communities outside of the NE region. I’ve gotten several phone calls from converts across the country since Eid expressing the same things again.
Eid can be especially lonely for those in a community dominated by one or two immigrant groups. You just (unintentionally) get left out and feel like forgotten roadkill. Some even go as far as to look forward to when Eid is over. This is why some of the people I spoke to would rather work on Eid than go to the ‘celebration’.
Hardly anyone likes to admit it but what people are really missing is the environment of “Dinner at Big Mommas”. The family and friends coming together over a large meal and laughing, talking, and generally having a good time (I can hear the gasps of the movement Muslims now and the emails declaring this to be “of no benefit” are already on the way)
This sister had no problem admitting it:
Muslims celebrate two holidays each year: `Eid Al-Fitr and `Eid Al-Adha. Strangely, the two `Eids exacerbate the sadness and grief more than anything else. Why?
The main reason is because I miss my family. I mourn the warmth of big family get-togethers. Family is a crucial aspect of Islam. But like many reverts to Islam, I don’t have Muslim family. My husband is also a revert. He doesn’t have Muslim family either. We were both in our late 40s when we married, so we don’t have Muslim children.
But wait! All Muslims are brothers and sisters unto one another right? Doesn’t my new Muslim “family” help to fill the void?
Sadly, no.
I have experienced many community iftars during Ramadan where I felt alone among a crowd of women and children in the masjid’s basement. I sat down at tables and ate my food in the company of sisters who would not speak English, despite having the ability to do so. This left me, the only one at the table who couldn’t speak Urdu or Arabic, feeling uncomfortable and like an intruder. Why would my sisters in Islam want to exclude me from their conversation?
I thought of my hubby who was upstairs with the men. Was he experiencing the same thing? Had we stayed home, we could have had a nice iftar together. Why had we gone to the masjid? To be in a community of Muslims, for a big get-together, like the warm family holiday celebrations that we missed.
The exact same thing happens amongst the brothers at masjids that are dominated by one ethnic group.
Muslim reverts experience isolation and frequently outright alienation in the American Ummah. The loneliness and pain can be overwhelming, especially for the new and fragile revert. Some, feeling rejected and disillusioned, choose to leave Islam.
But sadly I am accused of making these stories up by the movement Muslims who would like to deny the feelings of so many…
Filed under: Convert Issues | Tagged: Eid
In 2006 entry blog entry about Ramadan and my own lackluster enthusiasm, I wrote the following:
During the past Eid, I wrote this:
I’m not afraid to admit it. Eids are lonely for us single Muslims, whether we are in an ethnically mixed community or not. There are few programs for us, people don’t invite us to their family functions. You really get a sense of your place in the ummah, especially if you are not part of some Muslim clique. We really need to work on that. Its not about replicating christmas, but creating a sense of family and integrating people better in our communities.
Thank you for addressing this issue. My husband and I are reverts we have a son, so we are looking at the EID as a time for him and strengthen his belief in Islam especially this time of year when XMAS looks fun. I dont like the fact that there is not enough at masjids for converts in terms of classes etc. I think many are forgetting that the first people who practiced Islam were treated badly beyond our imagination and shouldnt we as a community embrace with OPEN ARMS anyone who embraces ISLAM?, also something I would like you to address is the lack of food banks, and activities for tweens, and teenagers, and children of all ages on the evenings on the weekends at the masjids. We want our children to stay Muslim we have to do our part as a community!
Bit unfair about the so-called movement Muslims? I think so. As a matter of fact the so-called Muslim Movements are usually the ones that take this complaint into consideration and have gatherings that cater to converts, intercultural marriages, or immigrants.
Even here in Saudi Eids can be lonely. Saudis basically have family gatherings and you will be invited to join, but it’s not festive and my children get bored. Western Muslims and so called Movement Muslims have had the best Eid gatherings I have attended and make sure there is a bit of everything there (ilm time, play time, get your eat on time).
What makes you think they don’t acknowledge this?
What makes you think they don’t acknowledge this?
From the relentless emails I get - and personal conversation - from people of this mentality trying to convince me that we should all be of one mindset and personality and not want to have any fun at all. They deny that the times at “Big Mommas” was any fun at all at any time and strike you down when you seem to be fond of those times.
I have been called all kinds of names by guys of this mentality for talking about things like this.
I just had to come to grips that I am not a robot. I have feelings and that is part of being human. We can not keep trying to aspire to this inhuman - emotionless - goal. We will never be able to aspire to it. I lost a lot of years - that I will never be able to get back - with family members because of that type of thinking.
Allah knows best
They frontin’ Tariq! Didn’t you know that? Don’t let them fool you. I don’t care what mindest they have, everybody will miss Big Mamas house…
Hopefully it is not same in the real life as on blogosphere.
I know it is not my business, but taken a ‘holiday’ or some days off always helps.
Eid Mubarak.
Eid Mubarak,
Unfortunately what you stated is all too true. When my sons were younger, I would always try to make the Eids festive for them because besides my husband and I, they had no Muslim relatives. We had to create a pseudo family but it was not the same as being with your own family during the Christmas or Thanksgiving holidays. We would all still go to my mother’s for Thankgiving and Christmas although we would bypass Easter. Today my sons are young adults and do consider themselves Muslim but don’t yet embrace Islam as a complete way of life. Muslims simply can not compete with Christmas and we stopped trying. We allowed them as children to accept Christmas gifts from family and they also gave gifts to their grandparents, uncles and aunts. I don’t think that this had any bearing on how they practice now because I know many children of reverts who were raised in strict Muslim homes who don’t even consider themselves Muslim any longer. Some of my fondest childhood memories were of family during the holidays gatherings. We always felt that we would not deny our children the same warmth and love that we felt during the holidays growing up. It was always good when the Eids fell near Christmas or Thanksgiving.
It is ironic that for some converts, Christmas is something more to look forward to than `Eid, especially if single too. Even if not religious, the wider-community gets in to the festive spirit, and families still get together - whilst on `Eid we are lucky if there are a few `Eid Mubarak’s exchanged before everyone vanishes.
I remember one year fasting Ramadan in my home village - being the only Muslim for around a 2-3hr drive in any direction (and having no licence). It was a very isolating experience and when the `Eid did come then, it just felt like a relief not to have to keep fasting - there was no “community” or anything else involved at all. In fact, if I hadn’t counted the days and seen the moon for myself, I would not have known when the `Eid actually was!
Converts have it hard sometimes - even if they are surrounded by Muslims. In fact, in some ways that can make it worse!
Why do our ‘Eids have to be spent in the same manner that our past holidays were spent or like the neighbors celebrate their holidays? We could make our ‘Eid so special if we fixed our mindset towards it. ‘eid is such a special occasion, a time to come closer to Allah and thank Him for His many blessings. It can be the most simplest gathering or the biggest carnival, but if there is no awareness of Allah and no urge to come closer to Him, then yeah… ‘Eid is gonna suck no matter what.
Personally, I am tired of my complaining. That is why I have decided to make ‘Eid even more special for my family. I posted on Aaminah’s blog that I hope in return I can make it special for me. But it won’t be special without remembering Him, so that is the biggest concern.
Umm Layth
I don’t think anyone was implying that we should not remember Allah. There is nothing wrong with loving to be around family and friends. We are not drones that are devoid of feelings
Abdur Rahman, I didn’t imply what you assumed I thought others implied. My point was quite clear I thought, and that was that we can make the simplest gathering special or the biggest special, but they both can end up empty without Dhikr. I just think that sometimes we focus too much on making it like ‘theirs’ but we could totally make it our own and better because we have Allah.
We really did call my Grandmother “Big Mama.” It was her name.
Next Eid ul Fitr, my house, inshaAllah: Big Mama-style dinner. Oh, but you might need to live in Jordan to attend.
All are welcome. Pecan pie is included.
I am “this sister” who wrote the article for IslamOnline you refered to (thanks!). So I can testify that you’re not making up my story
I think that this same scenario unfortunately can even be true in a city where there are A LOT of indigenous Muslims.
For instance when I moved to Detroit about 10 years ago before I was blessed with my wife and kids, I spent a couple of lonely Eids here. Many of the indigenous Muslims were stand offish almost as much as if I were at a majority immigrant populated masjid. The underlying point is that not having the meaning, personal relationships is what causes the feelings of loniless. Ethnic barriers just accentuate the problem in some cases.
Oddly in Metro Detroit, I know of a brother, who actually changed his madhhab partly because he was embraced by immigrant Muslims while being slighted by indigenous Muslims. The brother lived in an area of Detroit were a lot of Muslims dwell including an “Imam” living on his block. His son died and none of these “brothas” paid him any condolences.
A Shi’i brother, who he met that is Lebanese found out, however, and organized a special majlis where the Shi’i brothers and sisters gave condolences and read Qur’an. Now, the brother follows the Ja’fari school of thought and married a young Lebanese sister. Go figure!
So there are two sides to this coin. In the majority of my dealings, I’m treated more warmly by the Shi’is that I do not know than Sunnis that I do not know although I’m not a Shi’i. I haven’t quite figured out yet why that is so although I have a couple of theories.
It is so sad to think of reverts spending Eid alone.
A lot of the time, ppl will assume you have a family to spend Eid with, when that isn’t always the case.
Sadly, our masaajid are no longer catering to the needs of the community. Every masjid should have something for reverts on Eid day to enjoy. But one thing I will say though, as a revert myself, is that sometimes you have to take the initiative. These reverts could call other reverts around to their houses. Or organise something in the community. How many reverts would suggest having a community breakfast etc on Eid day at the masjid, and be willing to help to organise it?
Salam Aleikoum,
Thank you Br. Tareq,
Unfortunately this is not only a convert problem, I am form a Muslim country and I feel the same every Eid ,I think there is a lack of sense of community for every one who lives in a city where there is not a lot of his/her ethnic group, even in regular gatherings in the Masjid there is no place for a single man let alone a single woman, I’ve never felt isolated and lonely as I felt last two Eids. Before, I was married and my wife and I used to celebrate together, but now I am single and can completely relate to what’s been said in the entry.
I wish in every community there is a group of sisters and brothers who can bring “lonely” people together in halal way and share the joy among themselves so nobody get that awful feeling at a time that’s suppose to be for joy.
interesting piece…first i have to say that i hate the terms converts and reverts. secondly Eid al Fitr and Eid al Adha are not holidays they are holy days.
BismillaharRahmanirRahim
as-salaamu ‘alaikum. These are very sad stories. I have experienced loneliness during the Holy Days but perhaps not to the degree that is being expressed here. I find that I have a soft spot for this kind of suffering. I find it terrible that people who have managed to wake up to a reality concerning themselves, their lives and the afterlife only to feel isolated during the times that those who share their vision are celebrating.
I do however, have a response that I would like to share. It seems to me that when one converts to Islam or any religion for that matter one’s surrounding environment will also change. Over my lifetime and because of my father’s occupation I have moved all across the country. I have been to over 15 different schools (from pre-K to high school) so I know a little something about adapting to new environments.
I have found that the first thing one does when we find ourselves in a new environment is to have a little courage. The courage to be friendly and open to interacting with people when things may not be comfortable.
And then we have to be sincere, and sincere with ourselves as well. If we are not really feeling the people who we are around… we can’t trick ouselves into thinking that everything is all good. Though we can look more deeply into it and get over it or merely move on.
The third thing is understand who you are dealing with. There are some groups of people who act as a closed circuit. We just have to face that fact and stop complaining. But there are those communities of Muslims who are very open and inviting.
The Osmanli Naksibendi Tarikat is one such community of Muslims. And that is because the leadership is open and inviting. The group can only reflect its leaders… you know. At the Shaykh Nazim Osmanli Dergah there are many arrangements for guests and visitors who are coming to enjoy the Eid celebration. There are sheep, goats, bulls and other animals that are available for qurban and quite frankly my experiences there during Eid have by far been the best yet.
Here are pictures from our Eid al-Adha and Qurban. And this is Shaykh Abdul-Kerim’s Khutba, enjoy. Some of you may consider coming to the mountains to spend Eid with us… but make sure you call first
-Saifuddin
ENJOY READING YOUR BLOG WANTED TO SHARE
WILLIE LYNCH VICTIMS by RIHAZ RESEARCH
DON’T LAUGH WHEN YOU READ THIS, SOME OF THEM WERE PRISONERS OF WAR. WHAT IS THE EXCUSE OF MODERN DAY UNCLE TOMS?
P.S SOME MUSLIMS FIT THIS ROLE.
Charlie Tye Smith, Georgia,
Charlie Tye recalls vividly when the Yankees passed through and graphically related the following incident. “The Yankees passed through and caught “ole Marse” Jim and made him pull off his boots and run bare-footed through a cane brake with half a bushel of potatoes tied around his neck; then they made him put his boots back on and carried him down to the mill and tied him to the water post. They were getting ready to break his neck when one of Master’s slaves, “ole Peter Smith”, asked them if they intended to kill Marse Jim, and when they said “Yes”, Peter choked up and said, “Well, please, suh, let me die wid ole Marse!” Well, dem Yankees let ole Marse loose and left! Yes, Missy, dat’s de truf ‘case I’ve heered my daddy tell it many’s the time!”
Belle Buntin, Arkansas,
……”Master Alex was a legislator. He had to leave when the Yankees come through. They killed all the legislators. I loved him. He run a store and we three children went to the store to see him nearly every day. He took us all three on his knees at the same time. I
Loved him
• In regard to the loyalty of the slaves, be it said to their eternal credit, no race was ever more loyal and helpful than they, during those four years of bloody strife. They took special pride in the feeling that they were the only protectors of the mistress at home during the absence of her natural protector and guardian.
• A certain lady was told that her negroes were holding nightly meetings in her kitchen, and it was suspected that they were making arrangements to desert the enemy. One night, a low, earnest sound was heard from that locality. Creeping softly along to hear what the conspiracy might be, the mistress found the entire group of negroes on their knees, while one of them was offering up an earnest petition to the “Fader in Hebben,” and praying Him to “bress missis and de chillun, an pertickler de youngmasters in de wah.”
• A ten dollar Confederate bill is now kept as a memento of an old nurse who, after the war, brought it to her mistress to “he’p ‘er ter git along.”
• An old negro man who had been his master’s body servant, brought a store of provisions and laying it before his former owner, said: “Marster, it mos’ breaks my heart to see yo’ an’ ole miss in dis yere shanty, but ‘would break ‘tirely to know yo’ was hongry an’ couldn’t git nuffin to eat.” His master, brushing the tears from his eyes, said: “Tom, I can’t take these things from. you and leave you and your children to starve.”The faithful old man replied: “No danger o’ dat, Marster, Tom is used to he] pin’ hisself, but you an’ ole miss nebber could do dat.” The master, greatly touched by this show of affectionate gratitude, said: “Tom, we have fallen upon evil days, but perhaps I may live to repay you for your kindness.”Lord, Marster, replied the old man, “You’s done dat time an’ agin fur all dese years, an’ I’se sho’ it’s my time to tek keer o’ yo’ an’ ole miss.”
Toombs, Alonza Fantroy
(Alabama, Gertha Couric, John Morgan Smith)
Missy,” said Alonza Fantroy Toombs, “I’se de proudest nigger in de worl’, ‘caze I was a slave belonging to Marse Robert Toombs of Georgia; de grandest man dat ever lived, next to Jesus Christ. He was de bes’ stump speaker in de State, an’ he had mo’ frien’s dan a graveyard has ghosts. He was sho a kin’ man, an’ dere warn’t no one livin’ who loved his wife an’ home mo’ dan Marse Bob. “Lissy,” Uncle Lon continued, “he was near ’bout de greates’ man dat eber come outen de South. He were a good business man; he were straight as dey make ‘em, am he sho enjoy playin’ a good joke on someone. I useta see him a walkin’ down de road in de early mornin’ an’ I knowed it were him f’um a long distance, ‘caze he was so tall. I guess you knowed all ’bout his livin’ in de State legislature an’ in de United States Congress an’ a bein’ a gen’l in de war an’ him bein’ de secretary of State in de confederacy.
“I was bawn on Marse Bob’s plantation in de Double Grade Quartes. My pappy’s name was Sam Fantroy Toombs an’ my mammy was Isabella Toombs. In de slabery times I was too young to work in de fiel’s, my job was to hunt an’ fish an’ feed de stock in de evenin’. My pappy was a preacher an’ Marse Bob learnt him to read and write, an’ would let him go f’um plantation to plantation on de Sabbath Day a-. preachin de gospel. He was Marse Bob’s carriage driver.
“Mass’m. white folks, Marse Bob was a good provider, too. Us niggers et at home on Sundays, an’ us had fried chicken, pot pies, beef, pork, an’ hot coffee. On de udder days, our meals was fixed for us so dat de time us got for res’ could be spent dat way. On Sadday us stopped work at noon an’ would come wid our vessels to git flour, sugar, lard an’ udder supplies. My mammy’s pots an’ pans was so bright dat dey looked like silver, an’ she was one on de bes’ cooks in de lan’. She useta cook fine milk yeast bread an’ cracklin’ bread. All us slaves on Marse Bob’s place was cared for lak de white folks. We had de white folks doctor to treat us when we was sick. We had good clothes, good food an’ we was treated fair. Dere warn’t no mean peoples on our plantation.
“White lady, I ‘members Marse Bob’s smoke house mos’ of all. It had everything in it f’um ‘possum to deer; an’ de wine cellar! Don’t say nothin’! Dat was de place I longed to roam. But marse Bob, he drinks too much. Dat was his only fault. He hit de bottle too hard. I couldn’t understand it neither, caze he lef’ off smokin’ in later years when he thought it warn’t good for him; but he keppa drinkin’!
“I been ma’ied twice, Mistis, De fus’ time to Ida Walker. She died at childbirth; de little fella died too. Den I ma’ied Alice James, an’ she’s been gone nigh on to twenty year now. My pappy, Rev. Sam Fantroy ma’ied me both times.
“Atter de S’render, nary a slave lef’ Marse Bob. He gib eve’y nigger over twenty-one a mule, some lan’ an’ a house to start off wid. Yassum, Mistis, I kin read an’ write; my pappy learnt me how. I’m eighty-six year old now an’ still goin’ strong, ceptin’ ’bout six years ago I had a stroke. But I cone out all right. I lives here wid my sister an’ she’s good to me. De only thing lef’ for me to do is to wish dat when I cross dat ribber I can slip back to de ole place to see some of my frien’s.” (Wash. Copy, 6/2/37, L. H.)
Lorenza Ezell, Texas,
“All four my young massas go to de war, all but Elias. He too old. Smith, he kilt at Manassas Junction. Nathan, he git he finger shot at de first round at Fort Sumter. But when Billy was wounded at Howard Gap in North Carolina and dey brung him home with he jaw split open, I so mad I could have kilt all de Yankees. I say I be happy iffen I could kill me jes’ one Yankee. I hated dem ’cause dey hurt my white people. Billy was disfigure awful when he jaw split and he teeth all shine through he cheek.
My husband is a Cape Malay Muslim from Cape Town, South Africa who immigrated to the United States in order to marry me. I am a recent convert from a family with Catholic roots. So we also have no Muslim family in the U.S. - but tons in South Africa, about a 26 hour plane flight away. We speak English, Afrikaans (him more than me), and French - great for the Western world we studied and met in, but not great for the Islamic community outside of Cape Town. So every Eid, we often feel the same way as you, and sometimes, we get so left out that we’re not sure which day the Eids fall in our community. At any rate, I wanted to let you know you’re not alone, and to wish you a belated Eid-al-Adha.
I am a revert now in Jordan and we really miss the community events that we used to attend in the US for Eid. Even though there was much segregation in the community, it seems that all the husbands who had convert wives kind of stuck together and did things together, making a new family for ourselves. I have been hearing stories of Arabs here in Jordan complaining about the festivities or lack there of here as well. It just seems that the Ummah as a whole needs to do some evaluating of our community spirit and try to make some needed changes to make everyone feel included and united. We shouldn’t have to live in groups of converts, Arabs, Pakistanis, etc. We should be able to relate to one another and make our festivities Islamic based instead of culture oriented. May Allah guide us.
I was not aware of this issue until I entered the blogosphere and read several first hand cases of this loneliness. Coming from a large and connected family it was not something I could relate to.
Alhamdullilaah my friends and I made a point of inviting all the sisters we knew who might not have family to celebrate with to join us…Still I wonder if there is more that I could have done…..
AsSalaamu Alaikum
To all of my Muslim brothers and sisters a belated EID MUBARAK. I am a Muslim revert since 1976, Al hamdulillah. My wife and I have raised 6 children in Islam. We now have 9 grand children. I am also a human being and I can empathize with those of you who experience loneliness during these blessed days. My nasiha to you is this: Never forget what Allah, (SWA), has said “You said you believe, do you think that you will not be tested?” During the Ramadhan take time to read about how the first converts suffered so that we might be Muslim today. Never lose sight of our main objective in this life, which is to make it to Jennah. We are told that we will experience some loneliness, lost of those things dear to us, our lives,wealth, friends, family etc, but the reward for preserverence and constancy is great. Take your complaints to Allah, (SWA), for it is He who can suppliment you with the companionship to relieve this temporary suffering. Alhamdulillah, today my wife of 38 years and myself have become the Big Momma and Papa of our family here in Brooklyn N.Y. and we thank Allah, (SWA), that we have been able to start a new tradition here in this wilderness of North America to past down to our children. Never forget that we are all pioneers and for us it is always tougher. We are the trail blazers and we Thank Allah, (SWA), for putting Islam in our hearts and giving us this great opportunity to achieve felicity. Start planning now for next Eid, don’t wait until it arrives and expect it to be special. Make the Eid what you want it to be. If you continue to do things the same way you can expect the same results. Educate your non-Muslim family about Eid. Eid Adha commemorates the sacrifice of our beloved father Ibraheem, (AS), whom we all claim to love and respect. Take the Eids as opportunities to bring the gift of Islam to our loved ones as all of the Prophets did. Don’t allow immigrant influence to turn you against your kith and kin. You have an obligation to them. , they are your people! It is the sunna of Rasulullah to love your people as He loved his. In fact he loved so much that Allah informed him in the 18th Surat Al Kahf, (The Cave) “You will only sadden yourself to death, in case you are following after them, in grief, if they do not believe in this message.” (18:6)
There is absolutely nowhere in the seerah of our beloved Prophet Muammad ,(SAW), where He referred to his people as “those stinking kafirs” All of the Prophets addressed their own as “Ya Qoumi” “Oh my people” and likewise we have a similar obligation . I leave you with the 78th ayat from suratal Hajj: “And strive for Allah with the endeavour which is His right. He has chosen you and has not laid upon you in religion any hardship; the faith of yout father Ibraheem is yours. He has named you Muslims of old time and in this scripture, that the messenger may be a witness against you, and that you may be witnesses against mankind. So establish worship, pay the poor due, and hold fast to
Allah. He is your Protecting Friend. A Blessed Patron and a Blessed Helper! ‘ j
as salaamu alaikum,
Alhamdullilah, this past Eid was very joyous and special for my family. The Masjid that I attend is 99% Arab, and all my friends did do the family thing, but we still had a wonderful day. My wife had some sisters over.
Although I spent the day upstairs by myself, I wasn’t lonely. I could constantly hear the laughter and screams of the kids downstairs.
They were pretty diverse as well. Black, White, Puerto Rican, Arab, Single, Married. Alhamdullilah!
Part of my motivation does have to do with me being from a Christian family and living in this country. My daughters do see the christmas trees and the christmas lights. I tell them that we also have a festival, and ours is better because we remember Allah! And oh, there are also presents honey.
And I remember before I took Sshahada, my birthdays were pretty lonely. My birthday falls around the thanksgiving break, and all my friends would go back home during that time. I would inevitably spend my birthdays alone. Then one year I realized that I didn’t have to do that, so I started gathering some friends and we would go on road trips. Well, Alhamdullilah, I don’t celebrate my birthday anymore, but I still remember that lesson, we can create our own experiences, Insha’Allah.
Well put. Eid is just a day for me to get up, go to the masjid, and come home and act like it’s any other day. Even at the masjid, I come in, pray, listen to the khutbah (which is in English, if I’m lucky), then head straight for the exit while everyone else is speaking Urdu and Arabic and giving each other hugs.
I don’t know if I like it better this way, or whether I prefer the “aww, pet convert” approach that some people take. I’m leaning towards the former.
Readers might also like to learn how numerous others felt on the same topic, only this all started with the subject of reverts and Christmas…very interesting comments.
Surviving the Holidays as a Revert
http://aishahsjourney.blogspot.com/2005/12/surviving-holidays-as-revert.html
Follow-up reading
“Do You Know A New Muslim?”
http://aishahsjourney.blogspot.com/2005/12/do-you-know-new-muslim.html