I feel that these types of articles are good because it shows that Muslims are being pro-active in not accepting abuse (we’re talking broken jaws and limbs here in some cases) and helping the abused find help. There is a fine line between “exposing the dirty laundry” and doing what it takes to solve problems (of all types) as the sister says below.
“The Muslim community is under a lot of scrutiny, so they are reluctant to look within to face their problems because it will substantiate the arguments demonizing them,” said Rafia Zakaria, a political science graduate student at Indiana University who is starting a legal defense fund for Muslim women. “It puts Muslim women in a difficult position because if they acknowledge their rights, they are seen as being in some kind of collusion with all those who are attacking Muslim men. So the question is how to speak out without adding to the stereotype that Muslim men are barbaric, oppressive, terrible people.”
This is why some people would rather remain in denial then admit that such problems exist. The fact is that *some* Muslim men are barbaric, oppressive, terrible people and we should distance ourselves (and our religion) from this type of crap rather than denying what everyone can see.
The answer, she and other activists have concluded, is to show that Muslim Americans are tackling the problem.
“Domestic violence is an issue we can deal with as a community, and not by saying we don’t have this problem, which is obviously a lie,” Ms. Zakaria said.
EXACTLY. It makes no sense to sit there and give a bunch of propaganda anymore. If the “dirty laundry” is exposed, it makes no sense to deny that it is dirty. It is better to tackle the problem than to deny it and expel and silence those who try to say anything about it. Often these tireless activists are accused - by simply bringing up the problem - of “blasting the Muslims” or “hating the Muslims” which is far from the truth. Others who start shelter projects are told to herd these women all off into a bunch of stranger marriages to get them some shelter.
Some activists describe being expelled from mosques and holiday fairs when they first tried to broach the topic five years ago, but they have achieved a wider audience by allying themselves with sympathetic clerics.
Here in Northern Virginia, there is an organization called the Peaceful Families Project - run by sister Maha Alkhateeb, who was mentioned in the article and is extremely active in this area - that organizes domestic violence awareness workshops and works toward fighting this problem. Further, Imam Muhammad Magid of ADAMS and my good friend Imam Johari Abdul-Malik of Dar Al Hijrah are also involved in this work.
Work is being done and I encourage everyone in the area to get involved in some way.
Filed under: The Culture of Denial and Pretense | Tagged: Battered Women
Salaam alaikum,
A brother sent me a notice about this article. He suggested I make an intervention from my perspective as a single sister. It is a sad reality, but I am glad that they are showing that Muslims are proactive. Unfortunately, I remember a tragedy where the husband basically beat his wife into a pump. The community basically supported their Muslim brother. That type of circle your wagons type of mentality leaves women and children vulnerable.
While I think the article is a postive step, it focused on immigrant women’s vulnerabilities and overlooked the vulnerabilities Black American converts face. While convert Americans know the language, they are still isolated. And if you look at the names of a number of the shelters listed on ISNA’s website, it is clear that they are geared towards South Asian women.
Many Black American women are shamed to not speak up. Part of the pressure lies outside the Muslim community. Many convert women are not supported by their families, and their families were against their conversion and marriage to Muslim men. I now my mom’s friends warned my mom that if I got married to a Muslim man that he’d beat me, take another wife, and take my kids away. That it is the common stereotype. So, when problems happen, they are ashamed to approach their families for help and support. Some Christian families won’t even accept their daughters back or support them through the crisis. If they return home, they are under the same pressure as the shelters to not practice or cover, if not worse.
[...] night, but by accident I erased it. Tariq Nelson captured much of what I wanted to say in his post, Helping Battered Muslim Women. He wrote: I feel that these types of articles are good because it shows that Muslims are being [...]
Salaams Tariq,
An important topic. Allah bless you for raising it here. Keep up the good work.
For all those who would attack you for what you write, there are many more who would salute you.
Abdur Rahman
This is a very deep issue, which requires not only education but a lot of monetary resources to assist in addressing the problem.
Unfortunately, the community is more concerned with building bigger Islamic centers than investing in human capital to address such issues.
I pray that MANA gets up and running in a more visible way in the community to assist in addressing this and other issues that aren’t being addressed in most masajid.
I think your article is very insightful and interesting, Br. Tariq. I think Muslims often get caught up between the image of Islam and the less than pretty realities of the Muslims. I don’t think we need to be ashamed of the fact that this community has its issues like other communities. Being open and creating a discussion and raising awareness is the first step to getting people to come together and solve problems. Keep up the good work!
Salaam! Great post; it’s our responsibility to raise awareness about these issues and address them.
Would you mind if we featured your post on MMW?
Great post. Living in Northern Jersey, close to the Paterson area, we have probably seen it all. Unfortunately domestic abuse is scattered across every segment of the Muslim community, the Paki, Bangladeshi crowd, to the Palestinians and Egyptians.
And you can add several types of reactions to news about this or any other news like teenage pregnancy and abortions (yes they DO happen) actually occuring in our communities which really aggravate me:
a) Brother…these are lies…these things don’t happen in our communities
b) Shhhhh…let them take care of it
c) Let’s help ourselves
As for helping ourselves…alhamdulillah I’m glad to see that a shelter was developed for the women…and unfortunately it seems to be in use frequently:
http://www.wafahouse.org/
apologies for the disjointed comment (at work)…