Tariq Nelson

While traveling this weekend, I read Dr. Randy Pausch’s book “The Last Lecture“. I know that I am late, but I loved this book and highly recommend it. I loved it because it didn’t concentrate on dying, but on living. It caused me reflect on my own life and the many blessing that God has given me. I am saddened that Dr. Pausch’s children will not grow up the rest of their childhood with what I was immensely blessed to grow up with: a strong, hard working, and loving father in the home.

When I was a little boy I was so proud of my Father that I used to pretend to be him. I wanted to walk like him, talk like him and be like him in every way. As a little boy, he personified manhood to me. This is what fatherhood means to me and why I think that it is so important in a child’s life. And this is why I get so upset when someone tries to put Americans and our culture down as if we are completely devoid of any values. It is very hard for me nowadays to sit by and let some idiot insult the people I know and love without getting an earful from me. It is my hope to be as great a father as my father was to me. I also hope that my sons can one day be great fathers in their own right.

How painful it must be to know that you will not be able to see your small children grow up or spend the rest of your life with a loving and caring wife. But rather than feel sorry for himself, Dr. Pausch decided to inspire people while leaving a message for his children. The message that Dr. Pausch gives is not new, but the boundless optimism that he exuded in his message is inspirational. I am sure that his children will be proud when they are old enough to appreciate his message.

In America, we love the story of an individual or team that wins it all in spite of seemingly insurmountable odds. We love when the team that no one gave a chance finds a way to overcome and win. The player that lurked on a losing franchise for years before winning it all. The undersized runt that does not give up and makes the team. The team down 0-3 in a series that comes back to win 4-3 with a never say die attitude. The old washed up player that rededicates himself and plays at a high level again and triumphs. The athlete that works hard to return from a near terminal illness to dominate. A player that scores 30 points while having the flu to lead his team to a championship. We love these stories because they inspire us to believe that it is possible to overcome the seemingly insurmountable odds and that this is possible with dedication and hard work. And although Dr Pausch eventually lost his battle, his attitude in his last few months made him a winner. This is why William Shatner’s autographed picture with the inscription (from Star Trek II, The Wrath of Khan) “I don’t believe in the no win scenario” resonated so much; at least with me since I - like Dr. Pausch - loved Star Trek growing up.

Dr. Pausch also had a strong unit of friends, family and a loving wife surrounding him that are very invaluable in tough times. Some may downplay the value of this, but people should not have to go through tough times alone. A person who is surrounded by a strong unit of family and friends should not have to wait alone in the hospital with no one to talk to while a loved one is in life-or-death surgery. No one with a strong group of family and friends should have to go through grief alone. Life’s tough times and tragedies are inevitable - each of us will face them, but we shouldn’t have to face them alone. When a person is facing a crisis, they don’t want canned advice or meaningless sympathy; they want somebody to be there - to sit with them, put an arm around their shoulder, or sometimes even cry with them. They want someone to relate to them on a deeper, heart felt level. They don’t want to be told to attend this or that class or read this or that book. They want to know that someone genuinely cares. The hard times in life are inevitable, and it is extremely tough to face them alone and ill-equipped. And only a fool would throw it away for a few empty slogans that mean nothing in times of crisis. How many of us have a strong group of family and friends that we know that we can count on in the toughest times? How many of us will really be there when someone else needs us for more than just a patronizing monologue?

Dr. Pausch’s book is also a valuable reminder that time is short and that each day we are writing a legacy for ourselves. We need to spend every precious moment with our loved ones and try to change our corner of the world for the better. In our life’s journey we can easily forget what it is like to have a sense of mission and purpose. We can lose the joy of feeling refreshed, renewed and revitalized and begin to plateau or even spiral into decline. We can forget that we should try to be an illustration of the true human spirit that touches others in a profound way. This book is a reminder that we can face life’s challenges when we welcome our fate with optimism and determination to beat the odds. We can live for the welfare of others.

After making many mistakes in the past 14 years, I am extremely grateful that I am still blessed with this continued opportunity to experience life with my sons and the rest of my family with a renewed sense of unselfish loving, honest sharing, practical serving, sacrificial giving, and sympathetic comforting. At this point in my life, I am firm in that my belief in God, in love and family, in education and hard work, in setting goals, being disciplined and being responsible. These are values I grew up, and I will not - now more than ever - let anyone tell me that there is something wrong with these things.

Our time on this planet is not without meaning, but this life is not a practice run. We only get one shot at it, so we have to get it right the first time.